Wednesday, June 29, 2005
well, well, well, well, well well.
well.
well anyway,
my cable provider let me down. for he past coupla days i had no love from my internet connection. now tomorrow i take residence in my new house and they won't come out to connect me to the rest of the world til wednesday!
grrrr.
the corporations hate you.
and here's the thing that really bites me in the booty, this was like my second to last way of keeping up with the kids who went to CIY.
i was trying to give you words of the day and missions to do for extra credit.
i blame satan.
i forgot what tuesdays word was but today's was "money"
as in "that matt, he's so money, he doesn't even know how money he is."
so thursdays word will be:
FAST
got it?
good.
and remember, tell at least 20 people you haven't met about www.spacemanrocks.com
write it on their hands with sharpies.
if you don't have a sharpie, use a pen. and shame on you for not carrying around some sort of permanent marker.
please, don't write it in blood. no matter how innocent the message is, it's just kind of creepy when written in blood.
jordan, tomorrow during dinner time collect as many salt shakers as you can. be very subtle and nonchalant. you can involve whoever you want. then make a pyramid on your table using the slat shakers. when anybody asks why you are doing this just reply, "this means something. this is important." remember not to laugh.
an add on to that little stunt would be to start a war with the pepper shakers in the room. whose side are you on anyway!!!?
this is what i was going to tell you to do when you called me last time you had a meal. but, (sniff) you didn't. which sadly, i understand. if i was at a youth conference having a great time away from home i would totally forget about those poor unfortunate souls left behind in the real world outside of my sphere of fun and irresposibilty. i totally would! everybody knows how insensitive i can be when i'm having fun. and i'm all about fun! wooooooo!
it will probably be awhile before i can get in front of a working computer for ahwile. (this one happens to be my dad's) so i will just give you words for friday and saturday as well.
friday: the word will be:
OVER
got it?
good?
saturday: the word will be:
STOP
got it?
also good.
now, for those of you who do me the honor of reading my blog but are not attending CIY, fear not, this week will be over and i will stop lamenting about my absence at a youth conference.
it really did make me sad and mad though. i would have hated to be around me this week.
don't worry, i'll probably entertain you with more stories about Dinglenoose, the smelly demon who seems to torment me and my family from time to time.
until then, think happy thoughts.
such as:
glazed donuts
lemurs
shriners and their little cars
candy
ice cold mountain dew
bonus cupcakes
blowing stuff up
deodorant that works
more candy
glossy photo paper
movies starring jessica alba ( except honey, i never saw that one, i can't imagine it had much of a plot)
anyway, the list goes on.
so smile, dangit!
well.
well anyway,
my cable provider let me down. for he past coupla days i had no love from my internet connection. now tomorrow i take residence in my new house and they won't come out to connect me to the rest of the world til wednesday!
grrrr.
the corporations hate you.
and here's the thing that really bites me in the booty, this was like my second to last way of keeping up with the kids who went to CIY.
i was trying to give you words of the day and missions to do for extra credit.
i blame satan.
i forgot what tuesdays word was but today's was "money"
as in "that matt, he's so money, he doesn't even know how money he is."
so thursdays word will be:
FAST
got it?
good.
and remember, tell at least 20 people you haven't met about www.spacemanrocks.com
write it on their hands with sharpies.
if you don't have a sharpie, use a pen. and shame on you for not carrying around some sort of permanent marker.
please, don't write it in blood. no matter how innocent the message is, it's just kind of creepy when written in blood.
jordan, tomorrow during dinner time collect as many salt shakers as you can. be very subtle and nonchalant. you can involve whoever you want. then make a pyramid on your table using the slat shakers. when anybody asks why you are doing this just reply, "this means something. this is important." remember not to laugh.
an add on to that little stunt would be to start a war with the pepper shakers in the room. whose side are you on anyway!!!?
this is what i was going to tell you to do when you called me last time you had a meal. but, (sniff) you didn't. which sadly, i understand. if i was at a youth conference having a great time away from home i would totally forget about those poor unfortunate souls left behind in the real world outside of my sphere of fun and irresposibilty. i totally would! everybody knows how insensitive i can be when i'm having fun. and i'm all about fun! wooooooo!
it will probably be awhile before i can get in front of a working computer for ahwile. (this one happens to be my dad's) so i will just give you words for friday and saturday as well.
friday: the word will be:
OVER
got it?
good?
saturday: the word will be:
STOP
got it?
also good.
now, for those of you who do me the honor of reading my blog but are not attending CIY, fear not, this week will be over and i will stop lamenting about my absence at a youth conference.
it really did make me sad and mad though. i would have hated to be around me this week.
don't worry, i'll probably entertain you with more stories about Dinglenoose, the smelly demon who seems to torment me and my family from time to time.
until then, think happy thoughts.
such as:
glazed donuts
lemurs
shriners and their little cars
candy
ice cold mountain dew
bonus cupcakes
blowing stuff up
deodorant that works
more candy
glossy photo paper
movies starring jessica alba ( except honey, i never saw that one, i can't imagine it had much of a plot)
anyway, the list goes on.
so smile, dangit!
Monday, June 27, 2005
sorry kids.
i was going to post alot for those of you who at CIY and want to keep in touch.
and all the rest who um, aren't.
but my internet connection via cable is on the fritz. it will work great, then not work, then work but work slower than dial up in canada.
right now it's doing the slow working thing. so basically i click on the site, go to the kitchen make a sandwich, run out of miracle whip for said sandwich, run to store for said miracle whip (cuz a sandwich just isn't a sandwich...), apply miracle whip to aforementioned sandwich, come back to computer room and voila! the page has finally opened up. circle of life.
so now that i've got my turkey sandwich smothered in miracle whip im ready to give you the word of the day.
yes, i stole this from the old kids show "pee-wee's playhouse"
but you don't say nothin bad about the playhouse! it had characters like captain carl and cowboy curtis, played by phil hartman and morgan freeman.
morgan freeman most recently known for his role as morpheus from the matrix movies and phil hartman best known for his saturday night live apppearances and the voice of troy mclure from the simpsons. poor phil hartman, got shot in face by his wife.
moment of silence please...
sigh. ok.
anyway, so when you hear someone say the secret word, the idea is to scream as loud as you can. it's really annoying and fun.
just try to be respectful when someone is speaking publicly or praying.
so the word for today is :
SHUT
got it?
good.
now, as i mentioned, my computer connection is on some kind of union strike. so i wont be able to post as much as i'd like. but matt can keep in touch with me if he so desires. and i can let him in on what the secret word is. y'know what? in fact any time you see matt enter or leave the room, you should yell out the word BANJO!!!! cuz matt's a punk and people should always wonder why you yell out BANJO!!!! around him. it drives the ladies crazy. especially the ones that are already crazy...
by the way matt, i found that power converter thing, it was in my computer desk drawer the whole time? didja still need it? BWA HAHAHAHA!
the lucky charms leprechuan is evil by the way.
LUCKY CHARMS IS MADE FROM PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
i was going to post alot for those of you who at CIY and want to keep in touch.
and all the rest who um, aren't.
but my internet connection via cable is on the fritz. it will work great, then not work, then work but work slower than dial up in canada.
right now it's doing the slow working thing. so basically i click on the site, go to the kitchen make a sandwich, run out of miracle whip for said sandwich, run to store for said miracle whip (cuz a sandwich just isn't a sandwich...), apply miracle whip to aforementioned sandwich, come back to computer room and voila! the page has finally opened up. circle of life.
so now that i've got my turkey sandwich smothered in miracle whip im ready to give you the word of the day.
yes, i stole this from the old kids show "pee-wee's playhouse"
but you don't say nothin bad about the playhouse! it had characters like captain carl and cowboy curtis, played by phil hartman and morgan freeman.
morgan freeman most recently known for his role as morpheus from the matrix movies and phil hartman best known for his saturday night live apppearances and the voice of troy mclure from the simpsons. poor phil hartman, got shot in face by his wife.
moment of silence please...
sigh. ok.
anyway, so when you hear someone say the secret word, the idea is to scream as loud as you can. it's really annoying and fun.
just try to be respectful when someone is speaking publicly or praying.
so the word for today is :
SHUT
got it?
good.
now, as i mentioned, my computer connection is on some kind of union strike. so i wont be able to post as much as i'd like. but matt can keep in touch with me if he so desires. and i can let him in on what the secret word is. y'know what? in fact any time you see matt enter or leave the room, you should yell out the word BANJO!!!! cuz matt's a punk and people should always wonder why you yell out BANJO!!!! around him. it drives the ladies crazy. especially the ones that are already crazy...
by the way matt, i found that power converter thing, it was in my computer desk drawer the whole time? didja still need it? BWA HAHAHAHA!
the lucky charms leprechuan is evil by the way.
LUCKY CHARMS IS MADE FROM PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
Sunday, June 26, 2005
MOVIN' DAY!
friends, i need help moving my stuff from point A to point B.
since fate has picked a bad closing day we are forced to work around it.
here's the schedule:
wednesday.
we pick up the moving truck and pack it full of everything we own. empty my current house of all it's riches. drive it to my parents house. sleep there overnight. )you can sleep in your own houses at the end of the night, sorry.) so whenever you can help on wednesday, that'd be great. we'll figure out something for food and beverage.
thursday.
this day gets a bit tricky.
the closing for the house we own is at 11:00 am. ...in joliet.
the people buying our house want to their final walkthrough at 10:00 am that morning. that's just crazy. but hey, whatcha gonna do?
we close on that deal, and let our hands heal from the multiple signings. (they even have a paper to sign that verifies that you can sign your name) then our closing for the house we are gonna move to is at 2:00 pm. when all is said and done, we go get the truck, drive it to the new location. and empty it's belly into the new place. more food.
so thursday night, we need help. there i said it.
friday.
hopefully we are done moving all the stuff. that could depend on who i get to help (not so subtle hint) if we are done with the truck, we give it back and say thanks, sorry about the mess we made in the bathroom in the back. and when they tell us there is no bathroom in the back we throw packing peanuts in their face and run!
well, that's sort to the plan. so gimme a call, contact me or enjoy your trip to tennessee. just help me get this moving nightmare over so i can go on to other things like buying a lawnmower and grilling brats.
IT'S THE AMERICAN DREAM!
drink pepsi.
friends, i need help moving my stuff from point A to point B.
since fate has picked a bad closing day we are forced to work around it.
here's the schedule:
wednesday.
we pick up the moving truck and pack it full of everything we own. empty my current house of all it's riches. drive it to my parents house. sleep there overnight. )you can sleep in your own houses at the end of the night, sorry.) so whenever you can help on wednesday, that'd be great. we'll figure out something for food and beverage.
thursday.
this day gets a bit tricky.
the closing for the house we own is at 11:00 am. ...in joliet.
the people buying our house want to their final walkthrough at 10:00 am that morning. that's just crazy. but hey, whatcha gonna do?
we close on that deal, and let our hands heal from the multiple signings. (they even have a paper to sign that verifies that you can sign your name) then our closing for the house we are gonna move to is at 2:00 pm. when all is said and done, we go get the truck, drive it to the new location. and empty it's belly into the new place. more food.
so thursday night, we need help. there i said it.
friday.
hopefully we are done moving all the stuff. that could depend on who i get to help (not so subtle hint) if we are done with the truck, we give it back and say thanks, sorry about the mess we made in the bathroom in the back. and when they tell us there is no bathroom in the back we throw packing peanuts in their face and run!
well, that's sort to the plan. so gimme a call, contact me or enjoy your trip to tennessee. just help me get this moving nightmare over so i can go on to other things like buying a lawnmower and grilling brats.
IT'S THE AMERICAN DREAM!
drink pepsi.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
well, the era of the Spacevan has come and gone.
hope you had a chance to enjoy it.
the 93 astro van that has been with me on many adventures has been sold for the grand total of 300 dollars. Q and his buddy justin handed me cash money on the spot and drove away to have what i am tentatively calling "the Q-Van adventures"
the Spacevan has been to cornerstone several times, many a ski trip, and more youth group events than most high skoolers i know.
i even made out in it several times... with my wife.
THAT'S RIGHT Q! I'VE GOTTEN FACE IN YOUR VAN!
we haven't kissed alot in it lately, we have a house.
ahem. anyway,
don't worry. i've never been naked in the van.
john has.
don't ask.
i even smuggled russians in it once. that was kinda wierd.
the 300 dollars that i earned from the sale is disappearing very fast.
i actually considered buying two hundred and forty dollars worth of pudding.
but the buyer's remorse would be tremendous!
"we had the 240."
"we just had to have the puddin!"
instead i just bought portable cd/mp3 players for my escort, my wife's car and my work truck.
i bought a thingie that transmits to an FM frequency from a portable player! this is going to make my work days go by so much faster! a 35 dollar purchase makes Spacey so happy! exclamation marks are fun!
i only have 90 dollars left.
and who wants 90 dollars worth of puddin?
anywho.
now i'm driving a red ford escort wagon. and it needs a cool name that involves space somehow. i'd like to avoid using the word "mobile"
my first car was an 86 lincoln town car. we called it the "Soul Mobile"
man! i miss that car! you could fit 6 people in the trunk, and have room for golf clubs.
so far it's just "the escort" and when Space is driving you around, you're being carted around by "Space's Escort Service"
i can see that backfiring on me somehow.
so there.
hope you had a chance to enjoy it.
the 93 astro van that has been with me on many adventures has been sold for the grand total of 300 dollars. Q and his buddy justin handed me cash money on the spot and drove away to have what i am tentatively calling "the Q-Van adventures"
the Spacevan has been to cornerstone several times, many a ski trip, and more youth group events than most high skoolers i know.
i even made out in it several times... with my wife.
THAT'S RIGHT Q! I'VE GOTTEN FACE IN YOUR VAN!
we haven't kissed alot in it lately, we have a house.
ahem. anyway,
don't worry. i've never been naked in the van.
john has.
don't ask.
i even smuggled russians in it once. that was kinda wierd.
the 300 dollars that i earned from the sale is disappearing very fast.
i actually considered buying two hundred and forty dollars worth of pudding.
but the buyer's remorse would be tremendous!
"we had the 240."
"we just had to have the puddin!"
instead i just bought portable cd/mp3 players for my escort, my wife's car and my work truck.
i bought a thingie that transmits to an FM frequency from a portable player! this is going to make my work days go by so much faster! a 35 dollar purchase makes Spacey so happy! exclamation marks are fun!
i only have 90 dollars left.
and who wants 90 dollars worth of puddin?
anywho.
now i'm driving a red ford escort wagon. and it needs a cool name that involves space somehow. i'd like to avoid using the word "mobile"
my first car was an 86 lincoln town car. we called it the "Soul Mobile"
man! i miss that car! you could fit 6 people in the trunk, and have room for golf clubs.
so far it's just "the escort" and when Space is driving you around, you're being carted around by "Space's Escort Service"
i can see that backfiring on me somehow.
so there.
I'LL MISS YOU MOST OF ALL
Friday, June 17, 2005
TWO HUNDRID AND A FORTAY DOLLAS UH-WORTH-A-PUDDIN!
AWWW YEAH.
AWWW YEAH.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Gratis.
for father's day i asked my wife for a poker set. i wanted a really nice one that had the right sized chips and a case.
since i was so particular about what i wanted (11.5 gram chips) she decided to just give me the money and let me pick out the set i wanted.
i so love this way of gift giving.
the giver doesn't waste all kinds of time trying to figure out what to get and possibly get it all wrong and get their feeling hurt when the givee kind of gets that "look" when opening said gift. it just gets rid of all kinds of guilt.
guilt for giving the bad gift.
(i am a bad giver, unless you want movies or music or some form of entertainment, i don't have a clue what to get you. because, what else is there?
Justification.
so i look online to find a nice poker set. my budget is 30 dollars. i figure on ebay i can find a nice set for that including shipping and handling. texas holdem is all the rage lately, so the market has to be saturated with bargains.
bargains, yes. ripoffs, even more so.
i was finding tons of nice sets for "buy it now" for $14.99 and $9.99.
but the shipping and handling was never less than $35.00
so.... no deal.
then i remember that jim got his chips cheap at swap-o-rama (flea market) so i plan a trip to go there.
the plan:
go to church. kidnap matt. go home. eat. take kid so i can give mommy a break. head for swap-o-rama. pay dollar. get in. find guy selling poker sets. buy poker set. leave.
reality of "the plan"
matt and i take the kid to the flea market, i took the long way so she can get a nap in. that part worked. she slept peacefully while we drove and listened to Mortal.
we get there and start a shoppin! but man! is the place packed. and matt and i, we both really really hate crowds.
plus it's hot, so that just adds to the frustration. my daughter did very well. she held my hand and walked and i did carry her alot cuz it was just easier. both matt and i were ready to start swingin and stabbin. cuz man! people are just stupid and dangerous in numbers. my kid told me she was scared cuz of all the people. but lo and behold, we could not find a single vendor selling poker sets. i figured with the crowd we were in, they would be at every table. i know most of the people there were probably hittin the gambling boats soon after the flea market kicked them out.
but just like gambling in Canada, NO DICE!
we found one guy, but his chips were crappy.
then, just as we are about to give up (actually, we gave up several times, but i needed to justify walking in circles for so long) we found the guy's booth who was selling the same chips jim had. at this point i was tired and not thinking staright, and in no shape to haggle or bargain or to put it bluntly, "jew him down". also, i was misreading the price tags. he was selling stacks of 25 chips for $3.00. i wanted to buy the case and chips. most of this is a blur right now by the way. my recollection gets hazy cuz i had just about had it with swapping any type of ramas any more. he wanted 60 dollars for the case w/ chips inside. (later on matt told me the guy was selling the case by itself for $17.00 which i would have done, and then filled it with chips as i went and so on and so forth.
so out of pure stupidity, and wanting to get out of there and as far away as possible for matt and kiddo's sake, i bought 2 sets of 25 chips for (sigh, the asking price) $3.00 dollars a piece. keep this number in mind.
Revelation.
so now, we are running just in time to get matt back to the church for a meeting for the trip he's going on to save souls in Chile. i get the bright idea to go to the jewel store by my place cuz my wifey said she found a nice poker set there for 30 dollas. i still had to drop off the kid at home. this had bad idea written all over it. so we get to jewel, look all over the store, finally ask a clerk and she leads us right to them.
here's the sad part. jewel is selling the same exact chips that i travelled to a hell hole flea market to buy for a lot less. how much less? they had 100 chips for $4.00.
ouch.
but wait, it gets worse.
we look on a higher shelf, and they have them on sale buy 2 100 chip sets fo $5.00.
matt laughed at me for a long time.
alot.
remember that for later, it will come in handy.
plus, they had a nice case that held 300 chips for 30.00
almost bought it.
didn't.
it wasn't going anywhere.
Ennui
so i drop off the child at home, now i need to rush matt to church cuz he's reallllly late. course, that's what being kidnapped is all about. it just ruins your whole schedule.
get to church, he rushes off to his meeting.
i get bored and decide to set up my entire DJ setup, lights and all outside the church building.
...for no apparent reason.
leave a cd playing, go talk to michelle about chicken quesadillas.
matt finally gets out of meeting. we break down the equipment, and head off to wal-mart.
and yet again, they have the same chips!
and also, they have really nice cases. we find a 500 chip case for 39 dollas.
i'm almost all set to buy and matt jumps on it. i decide i want to check out k-mart by his house, so the plan is to check out k-mart, just to have a clear conscience that i bargain hunted to the last drop, and then release matt into the wild.
after that, if not being lucky at k=mart i can drive back to wal-mart and buy the 500 piece case and give up two lunches that week.
Poetic Justice.
we make our way to k-mart and head to the game aisle. and matt feels good about his purchase. cuz all they have there are crappy 7.5 gram chips for way too much money. so we start to head out and there it is!!!!
right there on an endcap by the cash registers!!!!
the same exact set that matt purchased...
for only 30 dollars!!!
hey, i have 30 dollars!!!
no need to skip lunch!
which is good, cuz skipping lunch makes spacey angry, and you won't like me when i'm angry.
grabbed the box, held it up expecting light to shine down from heaven and an angelic choir to start singing "AWWWWWW"
none of that happened, some of the cashiers, looked at me funny. but that's it.
but man, the most priceless thing was the look on matt's face.
so i laughed at him for a long time.
alot.
so i wasted $7.00 and a lot of time and gas.
he wasted $9.00 and a lot of time!
CIRCLE OF LIFE!
which i believe i yelled out loud in k-mart. again, funny looks from cashiers.
well, there's a short story made long for you. hope you enjoy it!
End.
for father's day i asked my wife for a poker set. i wanted a really nice one that had the right sized chips and a case.
since i was so particular about what i wanted (11.5 gram chips) she decided to just give me the money and let me pick out the set i wanted.
i so love this way of gift giving.
the giver doesn't waste all kinds of time trying to figure out what to get and possibly get it all wrong and get their feeling hurt when the givee kind of gets that "look" when opening said gift. it just gets rid of all kinds of guilt.
guilt for giving the bad gift.
(i am a bad giver, unless you want movies or music or some form of entertainment, i don't have a clue what to get you. because, what else is there?
Justification.
so i look online to find a nice poker set. my budget is 30 dollars. i figure on ebay i can find a nice set for that including shipping and handling. texas holdem is all the rage lately, so the market has to be saturated with bargains.
bargains, yes. ripoffs, even more so.
i was finding tons of nice sets for "buy it now" for $14.99 and $9.99.
but the shipping and handling was never less than $35.00
so.... no deal.
then i remember that jim got his chips cheap at swap-o-rama (flea market) so i plan a trip to go there.
the plan:
go to church. kidnap matt. go home. eat. take kid so i can give mommy a break. head for swap-o-rama. pay dollar. get in. find guy selling poker sets. buy poker set. leave.
reality of "the plan"
matt and i take the kid to the flea market, i took the long way so she can get a nap in. that part worked. she slept peacefully while we drove and listened to Mortal.
we get there and start a shoppin! but man! is the place packed. and matt and i, we both really really hate crowds.
plus it's hot, so that just adds to the frustration. my daughter did very well. she held my hand and walked and i did carry her alot cuz it was just easier. both matt and i were ready to start swingin and stabbin. cuz man! people are just stupid and dangerous in numbers. my kid told me she was scared cuz of all the people. but lo and behold, we could not find a single vendor selling poker sets. i figured with the crowd we were in, they would be at every table. i know most of the people there were probably hittin the gambling boats soon after the flea market kicked them out.
but just like gambling in Canada, NO DICE!
we found one guy, but his chips were crappy.
then, just as we are about to give up (actually, we gave up several times, but i needed to justify walking in circles for so long) we found the guy's booth who was selling the same chips jim had. at this point i was tired and not thinking staright, and in no shape to haggle or bargain or to put it bluntly, "jew him down". also, i was misreading the price tags. he was selling stacks of 25 chips for $3.00. i wanted to buy the case and chips. most of this is a blur right now by the way. my recollection gets hazy cuz i had just about had it with swapping any type of ramas any more. he wanted 60 dollars for the case w/ chips inside. (later on matt told me the guy was selling the case by itself for $17.00 which i would have done, and then filled it with chips as i went and so on and so forth.
so out of pure stupidity, and wanting to get out of there and as far away as possible for matt and kiddo's sake, i bought 2 sets of 25 chips for (sigh, the asking price) $3.00 dollars a piece. keep this number in mind.
Revelation.
so now, we are running just in time to get matt back to the church for a meeting for the trip he's going on to save souls in Chile. i get the bright idea to go to the jewel store by my place cuz my wifey said she found a nice poker set there for 30 dollas. i still had to drop off the kid at home. this had bad idea written all over it. so we get to jewel, look all over the store, finally ask a clerk and she leads us right to them.
here's the sad part. jewel is selling the same exact chips that i travelled to a hell hole flea market to buy for a lot less. how much less? they had 100 chips for $4.00.
ouch.
but wait, it gets worse.
we look on a higher shelf, and they have them on sale buy 2 100 chip sets fo $5.00.
matt laughed at me for a long time.
alot.
remember that for later, it will come in handy.
plus, they had a nice case that held 300 chips for 30.00
almost bought it.
didn't.
it wasn't going anywhere.
Ennui
so i drop off the child at home, now i need to rush matt to church cuz he's reallllly late. course, that's what being kidnapped is all about. it just ruins your whole schedule.
get to church, he rushes off to his meeting.
i get bored and decide to set up my entire DJ setup, lights and all outside the church building.
...for no apparent reason.
leave a cd playing, go talk to michelle about chicken quesadillas.
matt finally gets out of meeting. we break down the equipment, and head off to wal-mart.
and yet again, they have the same chips!
and also, they have really nice cases. we find a 500 chip case for 39 dollas.
i'm almost all set to buy and matt jumps on it. i decide i want to check out k-mart by his house, so the plan is to check out k-mart, just to have a clear conscience that i bargain hunted to the last drop, and then release matt into the wild.
after that, if not being lucky at k=mart i can drive back to wal-mart and buy the 500 piece case and give up two lunches that week.
Poetic Justice.
we make our way to k-mart and head to the game aisle. and matt feels good about his purchase. cuz all they have there are crappy 7.5 gram chips for way too much money. so we start to head out and there it is!!!!
right there on an endcap by the cash registers!!!!
the same exact set that matt purchased...
for only 30 dollars!!!
hey, i have 30 dollars!!!
no need to skip lunch!
which is good, cuz skipping lunch makes spacey angry, and you won't like me when i'm angry.
grabbed the box, held it up expecting light to shine down from heaven and an angelic choir to start singing "AWWWWWW"
none of that happened, some of the cashiers, looked at me funny. but that's it.
but man, the most priceless thing was the look on matt's face.
so i laughed at him for a long time.
alot.
so i wasted $7.00 and a lot of time and gas.
he wasted $9.00 and a lot of time!
CIRCLE OF LIFE!
which i believe i yelled out loud in k-mart. again, funny looks from cashiers.
well, there's a short story made long for you. hope you enjoy it!
End.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
CHICKEN QUESADILLAS!!!!
Saturday, June 11, 2005
SPACEY'S GROSS STORY "O" THE DAY
i've got this jug that i bought at walgreen's that holds a lot of water and looks like a small water cooler thingie (culligan, Hinkley and schmidt, etc.) it holds the amount of water you're actually supposed to drink in a day.
it's been so hot lately that by mid afternoon the water inside of it is about to boiling point. i told my wifey about this and she reminded me that last year i put a half full one in the freezer overnight and filled the rest the next day. i forgot about that. and that is one of the many reasons why i keep her around, that and she's carrying around my second child in her belly.
so i fill it halfway and freeze it. this morning i fill it all the way up and head out the door to work.
i place the jug on top of my truck so i can unlock the door. i look up and notice that there is a strange green tint on the bottom of the jug, and i know it's not the reflection from the truck because the truck's white.
i pick it up and look at the bottom.
...and i see it.
freezing the water forced all the impurities to the bottom.
yes, there was algae floating in the bottom of my water jug.
let's let that sink in for a moment.
of course there was absolutely no way that i was going to drink out of this container now.
but... well, chances are, i already drank down the yucky substance.
chances are, i even made the "ahhhh" sound at the end of each chug.
now let's let that sink in for a moment.
okay stop.
i looked later at the bottle after the ice inside had melted, and sure enough, the algae had coagulated into what looked like big floating balls of snot.
well, there ya go. gross.
drink pepsi.
i've got this jug that i bought at walgreen's that holds a lot of water and looks like a small water cooler thingie (culligan, Hinkley and schmidt, etc.) it holds the amount of water you're actually supposed to drink in a day.
it's been so hot lately that by mid afternoon the water inside of it is about to boiling point. i told my wifey about this and she reminded me that last year i put a half full one in the freezer overnight and filled the rest the next day. i forgot about that. and that is one of the many reasons why i keep her around, that and she's carrying around my second child in her belly.
so i fill it halfway and freeze it. this morning i fill it all the way up and head out the door to work.
i place the jug on top of my truck so i can unlock the door. i look up and notice that there is a strange green tint on the bottom of the jug, and i know it's not the reflection from the truck because the truck's white.
i pick it up and look at the bottom.
...and i see it.
freezing the water forced all the impurities to the bottom.
yes, there was algae floating in the bottom of my water jug.
let's let that sink in for a moment.
of course there was absolutely no way that i was going to drink out of this container now.
but... well, chances are, i already drank down the yucky substance.
chances are, i even made the "ahhhh" sound at the end of each chug.
now let's let that sink in for a moment.
okay stop.
i looked later at the bottle after the ice inside had melted, and sure enough, the algae had coagulated into what looked like big floating balls of snot.
well, there ya go. gross.
drink pepsi.
Friday, June 10, 2005
THE SPACEVAN IS FOR SALE!!!!
93 CHEVY ASTRO.
$300 DOLLA!
BUY IT.
93 CHEVY ASTRO.
$300 DOLLA!
BUY IT.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
GRIZZLEBEE'S!
you'll wish you had less fun!
you'll wish you had less fun!
Sunday, June 05, 2005
DVD's that are in my collection that just aren't suitable to watch in church or nursing homes. i have more bad movies than this, but these made the list so shut up.
1) amazon women on the moon
2) american pie 1 and 2
3) eurotrip
4) fear and loathing in las vegas
5) kill bill vol 1 ...and 2
6) lock, stock and 2 smoking barrels
7) monty python's life of brian
8) reservoir dogs
9) road trip
10) transformers: the movie
11) twin peaks: fire walk with me
12) clerks, mallrats, chasing amy, dogma, jay and silent bob strike back, clerks the animated series, an evening with kevin smith and jersey girl (yes, i even own jersey girl, but not drawing flies or vulgar) you can say i like kevin smith a tad bit.
goodnight everybody!
1) amazon women on the moon
2) american pie 1 and 2
3) eurotrip
4) fear and loathing in las vegas
5) kill bill vol 1 ...and 2
6) lock, stock and 2 smoking barrels
7) monty python's life of brian
8) reservoir dogs
9) road trip
10) transformers: the movie
11) twin peaks: fire walk with me
12) clerks, mallrats, chasing amy, dogma, jay and silent bob strike back, clerks the animated series, an evening with kevin smith and jersey girl (yes, i even own jersey girl, but not drawing flies or vulgar) you can say i like kevin smith a tad bit.
goodnight everybody!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
a list of people who have never been in my kitchen:
1) hank azaria
2) matt damon
3) stephen hawking
4) jessica simpson (caesar would be so jealous if she was though)
5) jeremy bulloch (the guy who played boba fett)
6) any cast member from the star wars movies, not even jar jar
7) bruce wayne, or any actor who has played him
8) will farrell
9) michael j. fox
10) not one single baldwin has been in my kitchen, and there's so many to pick from
11) the lady who works at KFC that yells "TWISTA" really loud when i order my twister combo.
12) gabe rutledge
13) seth green
14) optimus prime
15) michael sweet of stryper
16) neither john linnell or john flansburgh of they might be giants
17) lynda carter
18) george burns
19) big bird
there is no number twenty, because that's just what they were expecting me to do.
so anyway, the list goes on as you can imagine. but don't imagine too hard. cuz there's always other cool things to think about, like what you're going to have for lunch today. or who shot mr. Burns? oh, wait. that was maggie. man! i've seen that episode way too many times. i'd rather watch the one when homer gets hired by the globex corporation and works for hank scorpio. that's probably my favorite one. of course the monorail one is tops too. anyway, i hope you see my point. save the whales.
1) hank azaria
2) matt damon
3) stephen hawking
4) jessica simpson (caesar would be so jealous if she was though)
5) jeremy bulloch (the guy who played boba fett)
6) any cast member from the star wars movies, not even jar jar
7) bruce wayne, or any actor who has played him
8) will farrell
9) michael j. fox
10) not one single baldwin has been in my kitchen, and there's so many to pick from
11) the lady who works at KFC that yells "TWISTA" really loud when i order my twister combo.
12) gabe rutledge
13) seth green
14) optimus prime
15) michael sweet of stryper
16) neither john linnell or john flansburgh of they might be giants
17) lynda carter
18) george burns
19) big bird
there is no number twenty, because that's just what they were expecting me to do.
so anyway, the list goes on as you can imagine. but don't imagine too hard. cuz there's always other cool things to think about, like what you're going to have for lunch today. or who shot mr. Burns? oh, wait. that was maggie. man! i've seen that episode way too many times. i'd rather watch the one when homer gets hired by the globex corporation and works for hank scorpio. that's probably my favorite one. of course the monorail one is tops too. anyway, i hope you see my point. save the whales.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
goodnight.
and remember,
i can kill you in your sleep.
and remember,
i can kill you in your sleep.
