Lightsabers and Lollipops

Space and "The Ladies."





sure, it was Jacki's picture and i rudely stepped in and had Matt take the same pic with my phone. but, let's face it, if you don't jump into photo opportunities then you will miss out on some great stories with images to prove it.

and of course, sometimes your camera doesn't work and you miss taking a picture with Shannon Elizabeth...

a collossal waste of time.





haven't been writing anything fun and new cuz i haven't been doing just that. instead with every minute that i'm not driving my kids all over the planet (which i really really appreciate my wife for doing when i have a real job) is going through the Star Wars collection and weeding out things that i could sell and wouldn't miss. it ain't easy.

here's the thing, the stuff that i would sell is not worth what i would want for it. people usually look at all the stuff and think that it's worth a lot of money. not true. soooo not true. when i bought these toys and dolls (yes, let's face it. Boba Fett, despite his rocket firing jetpack, is a doll. don't fool yourself.) they were on sale. if these things weren't heavily marked down, then they didn't come home with me. the items that i did buy that were "rare exclusives" that i thought would do nothing but go up in price, well, that's what everybody thought and did. so they flood the market on places like ebay and the prices go down below even retail.
thanks, jerks. i hate you all.
anyway.
so that's what i've been doing lately. going through the stuff. selling some. storing away others, so i can do this all over again next year when i have time off.
it's like a yearly inventory.
some people do spring cleaning. i have no free time in the spring! if i did, i would go frolfing more often.
as it stands, it turns into a year end clearance.

my wife would just throw it all on the curb and take the "Best Offer."
or she would just set it all ablaze and wonder if you could see the glow from outer space.


but if anybody is interested in buying a Wizard World Exclusive Vanishing Beaker doll from the Mupppets, just lemme know.



O'Doyle rules!!!

i never noticed that Tinkerbell had ghetto booty before.

there, i said it.

don't question my parenting skills!

my 6 year old girl came up to me and told me that she accidentally stepped on her toy magic wand and now it's broken.

i told her, "great. now springtime will never get here."

this may sound mean, but it teaches her problem solving skills.

she said, "nuh uhhh. the fairy godmother in Cinderella just has a straight wand with no sparklies! it still has magic in it."

so see. spring time will still come this year after all.

..which is good cuz Christmas is still canceled.

i have been feeling that i'm just not the right size lately.

the second biggest candy bar that i ever ate.




YEAH!!! HOCKEY!!!





and of course, ...ahem.

FIRE!!!!!!!!

why i've been avoiding telling this story for days i can't tell you.
i think i'm allergic to it.

but here it is: the latest reason why i hate indiana.

admittedly, i grew up there. but don't hold that against me. i started exploring my neighborly state of Illinois as soon as i could drive and yes, had to re-learn how to actually become a real driver.
for a very long time, i never had a sense of direction. i was the king of turning around and starting over. gas was cheaper back then and it wasn't as big of a deal to drive around until luckily finding my destination.
it took me a job that involved driving all day to gain a sense of where i was on real or mental map.

except... for indiana.
i've never been able to explain myself in that state. it's like an Escher drawing inside my head when it comes to getting around. i'm a lot better than say, 10 years ago. but still. i could be halfway to indianapolis before i realize i'm driving away from hammond. so sad.

well, thursday i was just having a bad day. cursed if you will. i'm glad i survived. towards the end, i had my doubts.

this is the slow time of the year when i pick up a lot of the slack on pool(mainly indoor) and spa maintenance that stay open through the cold season. i could start the day in valparaiso and end up in lemont. a lot of driving. i love audio books.
this was a day that i should have been done by 1:00.
sigh.
a bad map and stupidity had other plans.

the day went sour when i drove all the way to hebron and forgot the key to get inside the indoor pool area. i felt really stupid. since this is a really picky customer i had to drive back to home base to pick up the key. so lots of driving and trip to taco bell (mmmm taco bell) later i was on the way to a stop that was in lowell. i would say this was about 1:00. (yes, the time i was supposed to be done. it gets worse, kids.) the job in lowell was a new pool that needed to be cleaned cuz it had just been filled with water. just following up on a finished product.
now we are at the point where it gets screwed up.
i had a map, written directions and verbal instructions from other employees on when to look out for the gravel road it was on.
what i didn't have was the truth.
i was lost up and down RT 2 for about an hour and a half. i think it was more than that actually.
A) i'm pretty sure only 30% of the roads are marked by a street sign. one of the streets had an old street sign about 20 feet into it off the road. how in the world does that help someone who is driving past at the speed limit of 45 miles per hour?
B) there was construction bewteen the 2 stops. the detour was quite a few miles out of the way. grrrr.
C) did i mention i hate indiana?

now here's the kicker.

the map and instructions were directing me to a place that did not exist. most places i could find by driving around and pinpointing where the map indicates me to go. well, someone is probably still laughing about this.

and i was not so pride filled that i couldn't call the office and ask them to track my GPS and tell me where to go. sure enough, they gave me specific directions with landmarks on exactly where to go.
that worked up until the second to last street, which didn't exist.

there was a corn field there.
and nothing else.
there is more than corn in indiana.
just not where i was standing.

here is where i was indicated to go:




now here's where i drove trying to find it: the vertical lines indicate all the streets i drove onto off of the main road to try to find the house i was looking for.




so i call the office again and let them know i still can't find the street. so they tell me to call the guy who was out there last. (which i should have done in the first place.) so i call him and he lets me know THE TRUTH.
that being that i'm nowhere near where i need to be.
here's the real deal:




gaaaah!!

now that i knew where i had to go. i wasn't outta the woods yet. (in fact the woods is where i was headed, more on that in a bit.) unfortunatley, i still had to maintain the indoor pool in hebron. which i was closer to at the non-existent address. so i drove there. did my thang. then proceeded to unintentionally take the longest way to RT 41. stupid corn fields kept getting in the way...

i should probably mention that it started to rain.

by the time i get to the real destination it is now 4:30 pm.
and it was scary. it was an unmarked one lane gravel road with barely enough rocks on it to keep you from sinking in the mud. who thinks this is a good idea?!?

then i pull up to the house. it is a mud pit. new house being built. pool filled with well water so it is also mud colored. the garage, which i took a pic of but it didn't save on my phone, had a gigantic moose head skeleton on it. immediately in my head i hear the dueling banjos theme from Deliverance. i could just see myself getting my truck stuck in the mud and no one for miles to help except the cannibal hillbillies who happened to also be the sheriff round these parts.




i kept saying to myself as i was turning the truck around in the mud, "Drive smart Space. drive smart, Space. don't get stuck. pleeeease, don't get stuck."

i should also mention that the sky was becoming pitch black by the the second. i finished working on the pool by flashlight. oh, and the betteries were running low. did i mention it was raining?

so there.

i made it out alive. but man!!!!! i was in a sour mood until i hit Illinois state lines. i can't tell you how many times i yelled at indiana for being a state that i hate.

i decided that i really wanted pie.

because sometimes somedays pie makes it all better.

but sadly, there are few places around me that seve good pie on demand.
i had to settle for a hostess one at BP.





but it was well deserved pie. i earned my treat.





and now, your moment of zen.

SCREAM.





sorry, no story yet. just another picture of a kid covered in peanut butter.

# posted by Space : 11:55 PM  1 comments

here's two stories for you from hanging out with my three year old son.

when he plays with his toy drums he always ends with a big finish and crosses his drumsticks in the sky and yells something.
after a few tries i understood what he was saying to be "More Cowbell!"
i think that's great.
i also feel it might be my fault.



he was playing with his trains in the kitchen. one train was a Thomas the Tank Engine, which he is a freak about right now.
the other one is a Duplo set.
i heard him say a word that i couldn't believe he would say and i made him repeat it several times before calling my wife and demanding who he would have heard this word from.
he was actually saying, "Percy."
which is a name of another Thomas character.

i still called wifey and let her know the story of what i thought he said.

and chris thinks his son saying "Truck" wrong is funny...

sorry.
lied.
tired.
must sleep.
working outside in the rain drains you.
story tomorrow.
i owe amy w swiss cake rolls.
there.
now the world knows.
my life would be different without little debbie in it.
i hope she never leaves me.

i hate Indiana.

just freakin hate it.

i've never been able to explain myself in that state.

more on this subject tomorrow. ...with pictures.

this would be a bad time to find out they had peanut allergies.





i'm not going to explain what was going on here. let's just say Team Creamy won.

which is sad cuz i was captain of Team Chunky.


O'Doyle Rules!!!

now that's a real shame when folks be throwin away a perfectly good white boy like that.

new stories and pics coming soon. until then, courage.




here's an old Hawaii pic of me flirting with danger. good times.



you are the last dragon. you have got the power of the glooooooooow.