Lightsabers and Lollipops

why i've been avoiding telling this story for days i can't tell you.
i think i'm allergic to it.

but here it is: the latest reason why i hate indiana.

admittedly, i grew up there. but don't hold that against me. i started exploring my neighborly state of Illinois as soon as i could drive and yes, had to re-learn how to actually become a real driver.
for a very long time, i never had a sense of direction. i was the king of turning around and starting over. gas was cheaper back then and it wasn't as big of a deal to drive around until luckily finding my destination.
it took me a job that involved driving all day to gain a sense of where i was on real or mental map.

except... for indiana.
i've never been able to explain myself in that state. it's like an Escher drawing inside my head when it comes to getting around. i'm a lot better than say, 10 years ago. but still. i could be halfway to indianapolis before i realize i'm driving away from hammond. so sad.

well, thursday i was just having a bad day. cursed if you will. i'm glad i survived. towards the end, i had my doubts.

this is the slow time of the year when i pick up a lot of the slack on pool(mainly indoor) and spa maintenance that stay open through the cold season. i could start the day in valparaiso and end up in lemont. a lot of driving. i love audio books.
this was a day that i should have been done by 1:00.
sigh.
a bad map and stupidity had other plans.

the day went sour when i drove all the way to hebron and forgot the key to get inside the indoor pool area. i felt really stupid. since this is a really picky customer i had to drive back to home base to pick up the key. so lots of driving and trip to taco bell (mmmm taco bell) later i was on the way to a stop that was in lowell. i would say this was about 1:00. (yes, the time i was supposed to be done. it gets worse, kids.) the job in lowell was a new pool that needed to be cleaned cuz it had just been filled with water. just following up on a finished product.
now we are at the point where it gets screwed up.
i had a map, written directions and verbal instructions from other employees on when to look out for the gravel road it was on.
what i didn't have was the truth.
i was lost up and down RT 2 for about an hour and a half. i think it was more than that actually.
A) i'm pretty sure only 30% of the roads are marked by a street sign. one of the streets had an old street sign about 20 feet into it off the road. how in the world does that help someone who is driving past at the speed limit of 45 miles per hour?
B) there was construction bewteen the 2 stops. the detour was quite a few miles out of the way. grrrr.
C) did i mention i hate indiana?

now here's the kicker.

the map and instructions were directing me to a place that did not exist. most places i could find by driving around and pinpointing where the map indicates me to go. well, someone is probably still laughing about this.

and i was not so pride filled that i couldn't call the office and ask them to track my GPS and tell me where to go. sure enough, they gave me specific directions with landmarks on exactly where to go.
that worked up until the second to last street, which didn't exist.

there was a corn field there.
and nothing else.
there is more than corn in indiana.
just not where i was standing.

here is where i was indicated to go:




now here's where i drove trying to find it: the vertical lines indicate all the streets i drove onto off of the main road to try to find the house i was looking for.




so i call the office again and let them know i still can't find the street. so they tell me to call the guy who was out there last. (which i should have done in the first place.) so i call him and he lets me know THE TRUTH.
that being that i'm nowhere near where i need to be.
here's the real deal:




gaaaah!!

now that i knew where i had to go. i wasn't outta the woods yet. (in fact the woods is where i was headed, more on that in a bit.) unfortunatley, i still had to maintain the indoor pool in hebron. which i was closer to at the non-existent address. so i drove there. did my thang. then proceeded to unintentionally take the longest way to RT 41. stupid corn fields kept getting in the way...

i should probably mention that it started to rain.

by the time i get to the real destination it is now 4:30 pm.
and it was scary. it was an unmarked one lane gravel road with barely enough rocks on it to keep you from sinking in the mud. who thinks this is a good idea?!?

then i pull up to the house. it is a mud pit. new house being built. pool filled with well water so it is also mud colored. the garage, which i took a pic of but it didn't save on my phone, had a gigantic moose head skeleton on it. immediately in my head i hear the dueling banjos theme from Deliverance. i could just see myself getting my truck stuck in the mud and no one for miles to help except the cannibal hillbillies who happened to also be the sheriff round these parts.




i kept saying to myself as i was turning the truck around in the mud, "Drive smart Space. drive smart, Space. don't get stuck. pleeeease, don't get stuck."

i should also mention that the sky was becoming pitch black by the the second. i finished working on the pool by flashlight. oh, and the betteries were running low. did i mention it was raining?

so there.

i made it out alive. but man!!!!! i was in a sour mood until i hit Illinois state lines. i can't tell you how many times i yelled at indiana for being a state that i hate.

i decided that i really wanted pie.

because sometimes somedays pie makes it all better.

but sadly, there are few places around me that seve good pie on demand.
i had to settle for a hostess one at BP.





but it was well deserved pie. i earned my treat.





and now, your moment of zen.