Lightsabers and Lollipops

on July 4th most people will want to look up in the sky and see hundreds or even thousand of dollars of fireworks blow up in the sky.
not me.
i wanna watch robots change into other things and artificial explosions that probably cost millions on a big screen in an air conditioned room.
what can i say? i hate holidays.


i still wonder what Soundave is gonna change into? (nobody knows what a cassette player is these days.) an ipod? but then, what would Laserbeak be? he can't be an mp3...

i'm so white and nerdy.

i think i scared some baptist girls yesterday.

i went to a speedway that i don't usually go to. went in the bathroom and took a tinkle. washed my hands dried em on the super dryer and walked out.
upon my exit i almost bumped into two plain girls with long hair and long skirts. they looked terrified.
i realized my mistake and looked back at the door that i had come out of and said these words, "did i?" "i just used the... wrong one?" " yup" "whoops."
still they looked terrified.
it appeared if they were wondering if they would use the bathroom at all.
having it defiled by a man like that.
from what i know from the baptists i've pretended to listen to, they like to keep their men and women seperate until it's time to conceive and make more lil baptists.
that's probably just me stereotyping.
i came this close to turning around and saying, "don't worry. i was very clean."
but thought against it considering how misunderstood i am by the female of the species.
and remember, only you can prevent forest fires. only you.

...and then john took a shower that was long enough to use up all the hot water in the house.
thus making the next shower ice cold for the next person to use it.
that was me.

...and in retaliation i took everything in john's room that wasn't nailed down and put it inside his closet. pretty much only leaving the bed, dresser and TV in the room. i wished he had a bowling ball. i would have rigged it so it was the last thing that would fall out. like in the cartoons.

so i missed three sundays of church in a row now.
one more and they are gonna send me a card asking where i am and if they can give away my membership and discounts.

3 sundays ago i went to the zoo. made me hate people even more. i think next time i go i'm going to bring poo-on-a-stick. then maybe i can have some personal space. nobody messes with a guy carrying poo-on-a-stick.

2 sundays ago i just didn't feel like dealing with being told happy father's day 100 times. i have my reasons.

1 sunday ago i had every intention of going but the service was gonna be outside and we had to watch our own youngins. and since my soon to be two year old son was beyond cranky i didn't feel like chasing him and trying to calm him down when i can do that at home. less people look at me funny.

so if i miss one more sunday i'm gonna have to barf up a lung.


SAVE SPACEMAN

the one weekend THE ONE WEEKEND that i can frisbee golf with no other things that i have to do, it rains and makes everything all soggy.


grrrr.

this show needs to be on DVD.



"The Completely Mental Misadventures Of Ed Grimley"

this was such a great show (according to me at the time) and i wish it was popular enough to be digitally remastered.

honestly, i would probably be disappointed in the show. i couldn't believe how much torture it was to watch "Greatest American Hero" after all these years. but, hey. what are ya gonna do?

but the Ed Grimley cartoon only lasted 13 episodes and aired on saturday mornings.
thank goodness for YouTube. i think some, if not all are on there. heck, i'm probably on there somehow...

OH THE HUMANITY!

Phooey on all of you!


most people who are members of Netflix just order what they would go out to any video store to rent and return late. movies that are always on the shelf in plentiful supply. such as: music and lyrics, catch and release, children of men and the queen. ( i actually got those titles off of Netflix's "other movies you might enjoy")
of course, i'm sure most chicks borrow my favorite movie to make fun of, "the notebook."
BUT NO!
my queue is filled with stuff that no one in their right mind would want to watch more than once. plus a lot of anime and 80's cartoons. aaaaaaand, shows that were cancelled by fox. sohohohooo many to chose from.
oh, and did i mention that that i have 340 titles in my queue? i worked it down from the original 412.
most people have like 15.
sigh.
what can i say? i love entertainment.

anyway, here's a prime example of what i get when i open up my mailbox from time to time.



and this movie is great!!!
any movie where they can deliver the line "Avocados are important to the security of this nation!" with a straight face has got to be a winner.
i would like to mention that this movie was sandwiched with two of my other selections: Cowboy Bebop: Remix vol. 2 and They Might Be Giants-here come the ABC's.

so i end this segment by picking on those of you who picked "Norbit" or "Dreamgirls" to be at the top of your movies to be seen list.
seriously, what are you thinking people?
or are you just told what to think?
sigh.

be different, weird and fun. all at the same time! but please remember to shower and brush what needs to be brushed. it's important to look and smell good if you're gonna convince somebody to watch a show like "Robot Chicken."
season 2 comes out on DVD in September.

Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. . Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell. Taco bell.

SSSSSSSASSY!



i'd buy this car cuz of this photo. wouldn't you?

so i spent most of my driving time today listening to They Might Be giants, Ween, and Tom Lehrer.

i feel pretty surreal.

some of you may not know who Tom Lehrer is or what the word surreal means.

i would try the dictionary for one and Google for the other.
i'm sure Google has a dictionary too, but i still use my red book with paper pages in it that says Dictionary on the front. although i'm pretty sure the Webster i automatically think of is not the one responsible for defining all those words and helping me with my phonetics.
i wonder what Emannuelle Lewis is doing right now...
does he read www.spacemanrocks.com?
if not then why not?

how many people have you told about www.spacemanrocks.com today?

by just telling two people about www.spacemanrocks.com today, you can help these poor starving children. er, somehow. we'll iron out the details later.
we can probably get them a buy one get one free mountain dew cap or something. hey, those aren't that easy to come by. only one in 8 gets a free dew.


i better stop now before things really start going downhill.


oh, by the way. if i ever disappear mysteriously, it's because i made fun of Oprah and got too close to the truth.
i'm not popular enough in the media to say such things and not suffer the consequences.


...yet.


tell the world.

www.spacemanrocks.com

TOO MUCH!

so now the cicadas are done doin the hibbidy dibbidy and they are ready to die.
they still won't shut up.
and so!
they drop from the sky.
...into the pools i'm cleaning.
i must have pulled 100 cicadas who thought they could swim from my second stop today.
i was tired of lookin at the buggers.

then i go to a speedway to use the room they let you potty in.
as i turn on the water to wash my hands, a cicada falls outta the faucet.
i yell out, "oh c'mon!"

it was just too much.

it made me feel sorry for the people in the Bible.
well, everybody except for Solomon.
he rocked.

i don't feel i need to explain my art to you, warren.

i swear the whole world's against me this week.

and the recurring song that keeps popping in my head lately: Informer by Snow.

really?

It's a

CONSPIRACY!

this is just like that dream i had.

except the lightsabers were different colors.