Lightsabers and Lollipops

i did not take this picture. i got it off rebelscum.com
it just makes me appreciate the fact that i like Star Wars so much and still married a girl. a girl that's pretty.

this pic was taken at the Star Wars celebration. the attendees received exclusive Darth Vader figures at their tables.
1) do you see any women there?

2) if you did spot any females in this pic, are they pretty?

3) how many people in this pic do you think skipped showers that morning?

4) if so, how many showers do you think they might have skipped up to that morning?

5) how many of their mothers were happy to see them get out of the house, even if it was just to go to a nerd convention?

6) do you think i'm jealous that i didn't go?

8) do these pants make my butt look big?

9) how many of the people in this pic were the inspiration for the movie "the 40 year old virgin"?

10)does anyone really care after all this?

and for the bonus: two words - ruby quartz.

... and NO! I AM NOT A GINGER!

in the comments section name the suckiest superfriend besides Aquaman.
....go.

as i was shaving my head the other day i saw white fluff falling down when i got to the top.
if ya don't know, redheads don't go grey. they go white with age.
so the sad part of it is, if i wasn't bald, my hair would be white on top.
just how old am i, anyway?

i think if there was a gas station/convenient store that DID NOT SELL lottery tickets anywhere near me i would go the distance and pay even a little extra just so i can buy my snacks and or beverages without the hassle of the compulsive suburban gamblers.

i so hate you people...

MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS!!!

well, the search is over. at long last i have my footie jammies! my momma got em for me and they are beyond comfy.

they even have a butt flap, or otherwise known as a trap door, for convenience.

life is good. now that i have one of my goals accomplished through the niceness of friends and family, i can concentrate on my next goal.

a life sized Artoo-Detoo.

went to target.
returned undersized pajammies.
wanted to find something worthy of the thoughtful gift of footie jammies.
found a star wars toy to give to a child that's not mine.
and then i found it!
i was in the sleepwear department, both boys and girls.
and the boxers caught my eye.
i allllmost bought some star wars ones that had Vader on the front.
but the butt said "sith happens" across it.
and i dint care fer that.
then i found some Napoleon Dynamite boxers.
if you can't read it from the picture it says, "girls only want boyfriends who have great skills"
and of course, the cruddy drawing of him on the side is wearing a vote for pedro shirt.
i realize that the Napoleon Dynamite craze is fading fast, if not faded away already.
but i still thinks it's a great film.
so there.
anyway, i hope you appreciate that i did not model these as i did the PJ's.
that just does a everybody a favor.

Joyous Kwanzaa everybody!

i finally feel that i'm at the point in my life where i can say Joss Whedan right the first time i say it.

i was pleasantly surpised when beth called me tonight asking if she and heather A could drop by and give me a present 4 Christmas. when i opened the bag i was beyond happy to find that they had delivered what i've been asking for for a long time.

FOOTIE JAMMIES!!!

unfortunately, i'm a big and tall guy. so they did not fit me so good. plus they kind of hugged me in all the wrong places. thus the package you see me holding in front of my, um, er, package. i was gonna take a picture, then kind of digitize the area like they do on TV. but then i came up with the idea of me holding a present. a lot less work considering i'd probably be up all night trying to figure it out on photoshop.
i'm gonna return the jammies tomorrow so i had wifey take these sassy pictas for prosterity. also just in case i never find a pair of jammies my size and want to prove to the world that i came ever so close to my dream.

HEY! WHAT THE? THAT'S NOT HAWAII!

and for those of you who guessed, and most of you who didn't, the item previously in question was a care package sent from the company that sent us on this wonderful trip.
it contained some awesome goodies! such as: chocolate covered macadamia nuts, macadamia butter nut korn krunch, a leetle baggie of Macadamia nuts, macadamia nut cookies, those mini hershey bars (no macadamia nuts included) aaaaaand some dried fruit. oh, and some maui style potato chips. which tasted very much like chicagoland potato chips.

by the way,i was eatin the korn krunch while writing this. it's all gone now. it was sooooooooo good... i wish i was eating it right now.

all this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit.

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS??

i'm pretty sure there's a gypsy curse on me somehow...

so lemme start by saying this: my wife and i had a great vacation. the company that sent us kept giving us things to do. and when we had nothin to do, my parents took us out to do sumthin. here's the fist thing we did. we rode bicycles down a volcano. they picked us up from the hotel. our tour guide was a crotchety old man. he was really funny. crude, but funny. we went up the mountain in a van. learned all sorts of fun facts about Hawaii. one thing that we found out that may or may not be true: it was a dormant volcano. they are usually only dormant for 200 years, it last erupted in 1790. so you do the math. here's a pic of the top.

when we got to the top, it's really cold. so they gave those who wanted these warm windbreaker/jumpsuits. then they made us ride around a bit to make sure we wouldn't fall off the bikes. it was very important to not use the left brake only! we would be going downhill about 18-25 miles per hour. the left brake was for the front tire. it would pretty much work as an ejector seat. this made me a wee bit nervous. i kept my fingers far from that break, lemme tell ya. so off we go down the hill/mountain/volcano. here's a posed pic that the guide took.

this next pic seems to be an image of me trying to sell you the island of Maui. any takers?

then further down the mountain we stopped for lunch which consisted of a sammich, some very greasy maui chips that should not be stored in direct sunlight and some fresh fruit that i gave to my wife but i heard was delicious.

while eating we had some guests. lotsa chickens and a rooster. plus some leetle birds pickin for scraps. interesting story about the chickens. there used to be a lot of cock fighting on the island. then there was a hurricane or tidal wave or somethin and all the cages were broken. this set all the fightin chickens free! so their fightin days were through and it was time to repopulate the island with little chickadees. and here's a pic of wifey feedin the chickens.

after we rode on down it did rain some, but that was no problem cuz it was paved. but then we went through town. and there was lotsa mud! it was that red mud. and here's a hint. the bikes had no fenders. so the mud went up our backs as we rode.

and as we reached the end of the tour we stared off into the ocean. dirt on our backs and sand in our toes. a good time was had by all. we went back to our hotel and guiltily walked through the lobby with our muddy shoes and clothes.
so there.

BOY OH BOY!

IT'S POI!

i made it back to the mainland. my plane even managed to stay of the runway and out of traffic. i have lots of pics. i will tell ya all, or at least some about it as soon as i get back into my groove.

well tomorrow i fly.

fly to hawaii.
so i may or may not be able to post entries for awhile.
but the entries i have for you when i get back should be more than worthwhile.
the first day that i wake up there my wife and i are supposed to ride bikes down a volcano.
the next day i'm golfing with my dad. i don't golf. i can't even imagine how much it's going to cost for me to fake the greatest game ever played.
i'd like to go boogie boarding again.
so there.
i'm gonna eat so much roast pig!

Ya know why I like SpacemanRocks.com?

CUZ IT'S GOT BALLS!!!

i'm afraid my stomach of iron is getting leaded down.
that burger last night from red robin tasted all kinds of great!
it did not make any mention of it's former greatness this morning.
the burger only told me that if nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.
thus is the process of aging.
eat everything while you can youngins!
or, um, moderate it so you can enjoy it longer...
either way, carpe diem!
peter pan syndrome ROCKS!

i always wondered what a fridge full of pudding looked like.

why is it always shorty's birthday?

when does the tall person get his berf-day wishes?

is there a nick name for tall people that ends in a long E sound?

do you know what i'm talking about when i say long E sound?

it can't be tally, can it?



well, until they come up with a way to chant to people with greater height about their day of birth, i'm just gonna wish happy holidays to all the vertically blessed brothas out there.

peace!