Lightsabers and Lollipops

so one time gio and i were at a girls softball game. don't ask why we were there, we have our reasons. anyway, there was a girl on the opposing team that had the name "BUBBLES" printed on the back of her jersey. and she was kind of bubbly. well, actually i would use the term "weighty" or even "junk in the trunk". so naturally, my friend and i start to route for her. yelling, "go bubbles!" and hooray for bubbles!"
well, bubbles was up to bat. we were cheering for her, she probably didnt know why. the pitcher threw the ball in that really weird way that softball pitchers do. the ball travels really really fast, towards the ground. it bounces, right into bubbles mouth.
teeth and blood go flying. we stand in awe of what has happened. poor bubbles is escorted off the field holding and ice pack to her mouth with one hand, and her teeth in the other. (i've always wondered why people clap when the person is led off the field after being injured, let me know your best explanation for that in the guestbook.) we were kind of sad for bubbles, we were really routing for her.
after that the team medic, physician whatever came onto the field wearing latex gloves and sprayed and cleaned the dirt onto which bubbles teeth and blood had spattered.
we went on to watch the rest of the game, but it just was not the same without bubbles.
sigh.
so bubbles, keep on swingin and reachin for the stars. and never stop smiling that toothless grin!

oh my gosh!!! there's a penguin flying the plane!

and he's been drinking!!!

i'm going to try to go through the rest of my life without becoming a statistic. such as: 2,463 people died from the deadly Motaba virus last year. or 22 injured, 3 dead in a building collapse.

no. i would like to live and die in a unique way.

like being sucked through a plane engine while driving a taxi.
being eaten alive by ladybugs
impaled by a toy lightsaber
beaten to death by the amish


i wanna go out in a way that would make people say, "i didnt know you could die from that." or "man! i've never heard of that happening before."

but alas, i will probably just choke to death on a skittle. and i'm sure that's been done before.

taste the rainbow.

so ya know me, i like comic books and such. what i think is really funny is the characters with lame super powers.
let me name just a few:

douglas ramsey-cypher of the new mutants. his power was to understand and speak almost any language.

artie of the morlocks (or almost any morlock for that matter) he can't speak, he can project images instead.

jamie madrox- the multiple man. his power is to make copies of himself by being hit or hitting himself. he has no other power. there's just a lot more of him to annoy you.

frank dukes-the blob. his power is great mass. that's right, he's fat. but remember, in comic bookland, everybody is beautiful, muscular, athletic..basically super models. so anyone with the problem of obesity must be superpowered, there's no other explanation.

angelo espinoza - skin. the name says it all. he has an excess amount of skin that he can stretch so he can, ummm fight evil.

and of course, jubilation lee - jubilee. fireworks. woo. nuff said.

there are many many more. heck, these characters are only out of the X-Men storyline. i haven't even touched DC comics. i believe the pre requisite to being a hero is wearing your underwear on the outside.

i may add more to this list if i get bored, but until then..evlidoers BEWARE!

i've learned that you should always try to carry a marker around with you so you can mark things as being yours.

i.e. fountain drinks, sack lunches, girlfriends or even the last piece of pizza.

plus, you can even look at it as a way to autograph random things. like junk mail... or cats.

and since i feel like dropping a brand name for no reason. might i suggest Sharpie.

good luck, God bless and don't touch my stuff.

dunh dunh dunh daa daa, dunh dunh dunh dunh da daa, dunh dunh dunh dunh daa daa, daa daaaa.

(breath)

dunh dunh dunh daa daa, dunh dunh dunh dunh da daa, dunh dunh dunh dunh daa daa, daa daaaa.

HE-MAN!

(music repeats)

I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lightning, background of castle grayskull. cringer cahnges to battle cat, roars like the mean ole cat in armor that he is.

skeletor has no prayer.

man, i need to get out of this house .

the white mouse will not explode.

repeat:

THE WHITE MOUSE WILL NOT EXPLODE!

i gave my brother in law money for a new computer on friday. so i now hate looking at this computer. it sickens me. blech. so i dont wanna sit and blog and such...

i did not mean to scare the comedian. no, really. he just should not have picked on me.
well, that's what i get for sitting up front.

i need pez.

I'm amazed at what happens to most normal males when the reach the age of fifteen or so. they discover led zepellin and the movie monty python and the search for the holy grail. i'm not too sure i understand it, but working with the youth (and being one myself so many years ago) i have seen it occur again and again. somehow in the past few years the band metallica has slipped in to this coming of manhood as well.

metallica is not on my good side in my heart. napster rocked.

but this phenomena has resurfaced many times that i have seen. it's just plain weird.

i'm sure girls have something they all like at a certain age, like the movie Grease or my little pony.

the fact is, i don't know anything about girls.

girls are gross.