Lightsabers and Lollipops

Summer of 1986.
July 5th.
The last day I was ever fascinated with fireworks.

My friend John K. and I were using up the last of the fireworks in the front lawn of my house. What we had left consisted of just firecrackers and those wonderful little things called jumping jacks (also referred to as crazy jacks).




Well, we, as most young grade school or junior high boys do, got a little stupid with them and decided to do something crazier than just lighting them off and running away.
We decided to throw them at each other.
Again, stupid. Young. Immortal.
I believe I threw one at him while he was sitting Indian style and it landed on his lap ( right on top of his “special area.”)
He quickly rolled out of the way before it went off and looked at me with murder in his eyes.
Speaking of eyes, the next one he threw at me landed inside my eyeglasses. Lightning quick I ripped them off my face and sent them to the ground saving my self from having to wear an eye patch and hear pirate jokes for the rest of my life. so we decided to quit the firework game of catch.
But we didn’t quit lighting them. There’s a trick with jumping jacks that we previously discovered. If you stand them vertically, they will fly off in any random direction for a short distance. Well, we found out that sometimes you could be standing in that very direction.
Sure enough, we lit one and it flew right at me. Lemme explain something about myself. If I’m trying avoid something, I usually run right into it. Makes me a terrible, terrible dodgeball player. And that is exactly what happened here, the crazy jack flew somewhat in my direction. From my friend’s description, I dove right into it’s path.
Of course, the firework stuck, and it burned a hole through my Epcot Center T-Shirt and also the flesh on my side.
I actually remembered what Officer Friendly told me in case I catch on fire. so I stopped, dropped and rolled.
I went upstairs and knocked on my mom’s door and told her in a calm voice that I had been burned. She did not panic due to my subdued reaction. But boy! She certainly showed some extreme emotions when she saw the damage that a simple firework had done to my side. My mom, was after all, a nurse. So she knew just what to do. She set me sideways in a cool bathtub. Then we took a trip to the E.R.
The rest of my summer was ruined due to the wound. I couldn’t go outside cuz I couldn’t sweat into the dressing and get the burn area infected. So indoors with my comic books and TV shows I had to stay.
I’m sure my life was in no way affected by that…

Maybe someday I will tell you how I burned down my neighbor's backyard.