Lightsabers and Lollipops

my plans today were to do nothing.

so anything i would have done would be like...extra.


and here's what i have done so far:

1) slept off and on til 1 pm

2) ate all the cookies and brownies in the house

3) watched cloverfield

4) hung out with both of my kids in turn while wifey took one of them out on errands

5) put a chair together from ikea

6) poured heavy duty drain cleaner down my shower/bath pipes (they are filled with demons)

7) nothing else too constructive at all.


so far, not a bad day.

first day i have had with no requirements at all.

yay.

there was no fortune in my fortune cookie.
i don't quite know how i feel about that and i just don't know what to believe anymore.

i'm pretty sure Ernest Borgnine is the devil.

i don't have proof.

i just somehow know.

BEHOLD! The Mystery Camper

goodbye, old friend.



i was finally able to replace this old couch that the previous owners had left behind.

i called it my "Dynamite Couch" cuz it looked like it belonged on the set of Napoleon Dynamite. it was a really comfy couch until i ruined it by falling asleep watching TV on it waaaaay too many times. the small holes that were already started become gaping ones that exposed most of the mattress underneath. it was embarrassing to look at.

so here it is. i set it outside yesterday. i was hoping the mexicans that circle the neighborhood would have taken it before it rained. but alas, it rained last night and the Dynamite Couch still graces my lawn, a little sadder and wetter than before. i hope it goes away soon. tuesday is garbage day and if the garbage men (who probably hate me already) don't end up taking it i'm going to have to throw car parts on my lawn to complete the white trash effect of my front yard.

well, that's my sad/happy story. sad cuz the couch is going to couch heaven. and happy cuz i have a new couch to ruin in the Star Wars room.

MELANIE HALL!!!

I KNEW IT!!!

lil Spacey on a good Christmas morning.



that's right! lil Spacey was cool enough to get Optimus Prime, Starscream, Skywarp and Megatron all in the same morning.

i'm pretty sure i got Soundwave somewhere around there.

i must have been pretty good that year to get such cool toys.

i was wearing a Return of the Jedi sweatshirt there too.

somedays i wonder what life would have been like if i ever grew up.

....i bet i'd have a bigger TV.

things that went wrong today.

(in chronological order)

1) i was early for work today, but that didn't matter cuz it took me 2 hours to get to my first stop when it should only have taken one. i totally forgot they closed off the bridge for route 7 and there are two detours that equally suck and take you 16 miles and a half hour out of your way. i know, i kept track.

2) i got stuck waiting for the slowest train, i was sure it was gonna stop and go backwards. and it was the only route to where i had to go, so i could not turn around take another way. i decided to clean out the garbage in my passenger seat.

3) it was raining and pouring and all i thought was i would like to be the old man at home snoring. but it wasn't thunder and lightning, so i cleaned the pools in the torrential downpour anyway. every inch of me got soaked today. oh yes. every inch.

4) in the middle of the first stop i had to make poopies. so i had to hop in the truck and drive a few blocks north to a new subdivision where there are some port-o-potties. i don't know what i'm gonna do when they are done with those houses. find a tall bush i guess.

5) i have a cheap rain poncho that came in handy. except for when i was trying not to sink into a mud puddle while walking past a gate. the gate handle caught my poncho and i nearly fell over, thus letting me sink into the mud anyway. i didn't think anything of it until i felt something on my leg. i had torn about a third of the front of the poncho and it was hanging on the handle of the gate, taunting me. once again, i'm yelling "OH, C'MON!" in someone's backyard.
i tried to use the torn piece as a small island to step on over the mud. all that did was sink in and make a small pool full of mud and water. i hate wet socks. just hate em.

6) i dropped my cell phone in a pool. (again)
hoodie pockets do not a cell phone hold.
i was just trying to keep it dry and out of the rain.
good job.
now the screen doesn't work. so i can't retrieve my numbers when i get a new one. so now everybody is gonna have to call me at some point. and if you are a person that i haven't talked to in a long time and i only had your number on my cell, well, goodbye forever.

6) the sun came out in the afternoon, thus making it muggy. did i mention that i was wearing very wet clothes at this point? not a good combo. i'm probably gonna chafe.

____________________________________________________________________________________


things that went right today.

(in chronological order)

1) they got my order right at taco bell.


...good evening and have a pleasant tomorrow.

the humans are dead.

now for a binary solo:

000000100000001100000001110000000100000011000000111

these pictures were taken last month. i'm sure i have some big reason why i didn't post them when they happened. but let's just forgive and forget. shall we?

thanks.


when i looked to the east and saw this:



and i looked to the west and saw this:


i just knew what kind of day it was gonna be.
thought i was gonna end up in OZ.

hopefully the bright sunshiny one with winged monkeys and apple throwing trees.

not the crappy sequel one with the gnome king who was afraid of chickens and the deadly desert.

AND ESPECIALLY not the one about that prison with the burning and the shanking.


p.s. this was the day that the wind almost blew me into a pool. i actually raised my fist to the wind and yelled, "oh c'mon!!"

my wifey laughed when i told her that story. her response was, "that's hilarious. cuz you're not exactly a little guy."

no i'm not. and the water was probably like 40 degrees that day. so i probably would have got sick and died.

WHO WOULD BE LAUGHING THEN!?!

probably the same people.

so nyeh.

dude.
i saw it happen once.
car right in front of me.
i about crapped my pants.
and to think i was wishing he was driving faster.
tell ya what, you can keep your shortcut.
i will take the long way from now on thank you very much.