Saturday, March 08, 2008
and then john showed up with easy cheez and crackers.
but that's not the story i promised.
one time john dared me to drink this stuff called Ultimate Orange.
it was a powdered energy drink from one of those crazy health food stores like GNC.
people used it so they could work out harder faster and insane-lier to make bigger muscles and stuff.
so late afternoon at his house he mixed me up a large batch and offered the challenge to swig it down.
it was an orange fizzy drink that tasted like Tang.
i was skeptical at first on it's effectiveness.
but it did not take long at all to kick in.
i don't know whether it was psychosomatic or what, but i could not just sit there and watch MTV anymore.
i had the need to do push ups.
me.
i don't normally do push ups.
at all.
and this was when i was young.
to let you know how young i was when this happened i will tell you that on the MTV we were watching they were actually playing music videos...
at one point john enlightened me on the warning printed boldly on the back of the label that read: "WARNING. This product WILL make you fail a drug test."
needless to say, they no longer sell Ultimate Orange.
i'm sure it's called something else now, and you probably have to go down a back alley to buy it.
the story continues.
after some time watching MTV and doing aerobics, i went home.
but when nightfall came, i could not sleep to save my life.
i was awake until 3 A.M. cursing john's name.
that stuff did the trick.
in this day of energy drinks and larger and larger quantities i fear for your young little hearts.
i do love me some Monster Java Loca Moca though.
mmmmm Loca Moca....
say no to drugs.
but that's not the story i promised.
one time john dared me to drink this stuff called Ultimate Orange.
it was a powdered energy drink from one of those crazy health food stores like GNC.
people used it so they could work out harder faster and insane-lier to make bigger muscles and stuff.
so late afternoon at his house he mixed me up a large batch and offered the challenge to swig it down.
it was an orange fizzy drink that tasted like Tang.
i was skeptical at first on it's effectiveness.
but it did not take long at all to kick in.
i don't know whether it was psychosomatic or what, but i could not just sit there and watch MTV anymore.
i had the need to do push ups.
me.
i don't normally do push ups.
at all.
and this was when i was young.
to let you know how young i was when this happened i will tell you that on the MTV we were watching they were actually playing music videos...
at one point john enlightened me on the warning printed boldly on the back of the label that read: "WARNING. This product WILL make you fail a drug test."
needless to say, they no longer sell Ultimate Orange.
i'm sure it's called something else now, and you probably have to go down a back alley to buy it.
the story continues.
after some time watching MTV and doing aerobics, i went home.
but when nightfall came, i could not sleep to save my life.
i was awake until 3 A.M. cursing john's name.
that stuff did the trick.
in this day of energy drinks and larger and larger quantities i fear for your young little hearts.
i do love me some Monster Java Loca Moca though.
mmmmm Loca Moca....
say no to drugs.
