Lightsabers and Lollipops

would you really want this sitting on your desk or TV stand?

sigh.
it's that time of year again when everybody else in the world is constantly playing Christmas music.
for the record, i hate Christmas music.
and for those of you who think i'm crazy and would love to listen to Christmas music all year long i just have to ask you how many cats do you have?
or how long you have been off your meds?

but here comes the part where i slightly contradict myself.

i do have a handful of Christmas albums that make the grade.
and i just found my third favorite today.

i bet i was the only one in my hood today blasting the Twisted Sister Christmas album today.



i was really, really enjoying "o come all ye faithful" to the same tune as "we're not gonna take it."
it works out pretty good that way. who woulda thunk?
it replaces my number three which up until then was James Brown "funky Christmas"

number 2 would be the Ventures Christmas album.

and of course, number one (and good luck knocking this one out of its standing) is the Mojo Nixon holiday album.
Mojo pretty much got drunk and made a Christmas album for no reason. they totally forget the words and just do the la la la's for some tracks.
and i guarantee that this cd is inappropiate for most holiday gatherings. but i also guarantee that it will beat the crap out of your amy grant Christmas album any day of the week and twice on sunday when it comes to pure down home fun.

i guess i pretty much only have 4 holiday albums i really like. i'm sure there's more out there, but since this is a genre that i wouldn't miss if it was declared illegal, i'm not really searching for any more versions of jingle bell rock.

anyway. happy kwanzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(remember to say it like a kung fu warrior or at the very least, ninja.)

and i thought i was paranoid before...

so i got a call yesterday about 1:00.
it was one of our secretaries at my work asking if i was at the library.
i was.
i thought it was kinda weird that they knew where i was.
i didn't think they had my truck on GPS or anything.
she informed me that someone had called into the office and told them that he always saw my truck at the library and it was always the same one.
so he called the number on the door, as a concerned citizen i guess, and told them of my social patterns.
okay.
i understand calling in to my office if they saw my work truck parked in front of a bar or other place of ill repute.
but honestly, a library?
i think it's sad.
that someone has nothing better to do than phone in to tell on any and all misdealing involving me borrowing books and DVD's.
it just makes me feel secure knowing that i'm being watched and reported on every little place i go no matter how innocent.
it's a good thing i'm a boring nerd or else my stalkers might really have something to report on.
i work in a bookstore too if anybody wants to report that i park my work truck in front of another place that deals out such evils as the printed word.
i mean, how can we live in a world where the guy who cleans pools can also borrow, buy and yes, even read books.
i hope you all sleep better at night knowing that someone is always watching...
sweet dreams snookums.

GET TA KNOW ME!!!



this is a great way to meet people and make em smile.
of course, i didn't rally stop and introduce myself.

i was far too busy bein' delicious.

so i hope some or all of you enjoy your momentary popularity on spacemanrocks.com
my cat's breath smells like cat food.

i woke up abruptly this morning because i dreamed i killed a lizard and a snake with a rocking chair in a basement.

freaked me out a little.

the picture is blurry cuz it's an action shot!


this is great! i was showin this picture to everybody!

that's 2 lbs. of Rice Krispie treat there buddy!

ONE SOLID PIECE!

i would have purchased it but it was ten American dollars!

i couldn't justify that kind of spendature!

i love exclamation marks!

NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!

ahhhh cassettes.

besides from being a dead technology, these are old Christian bands that only like 2 of my readers would recognize.

mainly metal.

but tall steve pointed out that the term "Christian death metal" made no sense.

i never thought about that while i was growing up.

but there are some pretty gruesome parts of the Bible (especially in Revelation) that make good death metal material.

and you are most certainly welcome to sing (yell/scream) about hate as long as you direct it at the devil.

freedom of speech is a funny thing.

some people sing to the devil. some against.

some people sing to God. again, some against.

and some people just sing about their pants.

i don't know who's side they are on.

and maybe i just don't wanna know.

this caption was only gonna be 2 or 3 lines.

but i guess i got a wee bit carried away.

i wonder when was the last time i ate Lucky Charms.

it's too bad all the local stores are closed.

i was half tempted to go out and buy some kind of cereal with marshmallows in it right now.

even the generic equivalent which i believe is represented by a purple kangaroo somehow.

i wonder if the generic mascots are never invited to the good parties.

like Sunny from CoCo Puffs is allowed beyond the velvet rope but the chocolate monkey who is pictured on the bag of the same cereal that is probably manufactured in the same place is turned away by the bouncer who swears his name is not "on the list."

mmmm chocolate monkey.

no.
it's not hard for me to find my happy place.

why do you ask?

i was drivin through my hood jammin out to the hits of Kid 'n' Play.

Oh La Oh La Aayay.

cuz i'm cool like that. i'm cool like that.

sometimes i'm pretty sure i'm mildly retarded.