Lightsabers and Lollipops

my wifey called me today and told me she had trapped one of Dinglenoose's minions ( a mouse) under a pan in the laundry room today.
she informed me that it was my job to take care of the mouse when i got home.
now when i say "take care" of, i am talking mafia style.
make him regret messing with "the family."
mine.
there was no intention of taking him outside and letting him go.
he would have no chance to come back and defile my domecile again.
so i slipped a piece of posterboard under the pan in order to transport him outside to his doom.
i figured a small 2x4 would be good for swingin at him in case he tried to make a fast getaway.
i removed the pan and he moved about two inches and "poot." i hit him with the block of wood.
you would think it was a "Wham!" with the weapon i had, but i din't wanna splash his guts everywhere.
less mess, the better.
so of course, the weak tap i gave him didn't kill him. it just hurt him an awful lot.
i considered letting him die in a lotta pain there on my driveway.
his legs were twitching.
so i decided to whack him again.
still twitching.
so i hit him over to the grass in a golf swing.
and bring the execution block down in a stabbing style on his wee lil head.
yup.
he dead.
he was even kinda cute though, white fur under his belly.
but all mice who enter my house uninvited must die.
i just hate them soooo much. (shakes fist)
more than spiders.
and i really hate spiders.




this is how wars are started.