Lightsabers and Lollipops

the bucket of truth.

alright. since jordan was the only one with the chutzpah to make a comment (the rest of you are a bunch of sissies) i'm gonna rant offa what he said.
attention younger viewers: the following work you are about to read will be unrehearsed, unrelenting, unleashed, uneven, unfair, unmitigated, unprepared and most importantly, unrated.

and that does really grind my gears when i can't find the droids i'm looking for. what's upi with that? for years i been wantin to get a tattoo. but what got in the way would have been time and money. i know good artists, but don't feel like driving out to them. especially since the money i would have set aside would be spent before then anyway. and now i've made it to the age of 32 without getting inked, and so now the thrill may be gone. ah, well. but the tattoo i did decide on was going to be of a droid from star wars. not one the gay ones that luke owned like threepio. but one of the cool looking worker droids. but that may take too much explaining. i know a guy that has an ice cream cone and building blocks on his arm. he is made fun of due to it, alot. he takes it in stride but i just don't want to be that guy. you just can't be a fan of what you truly like around everybody. i like star wars and taco bell. somedays i do wish i fit into the typical mold that the majority seems to be poured from. take music for instance. i have to reload my ipod with tunes due to the fact that i restored it to factory settings. long story short, i clicked the wrong button. twice. i'm tryin to listen to music at work without anybody raising any eyebrows, but it's hard when you've only loaded bands like big audio dynamite, blaster the rocket boy and breakfast with amy. (i'm pickin on the B's cuz that's what it is currently on) i've never been one of those who lets the radio dictate what i'm going to listen to at the time. it's like giving up your soul. i wish i was into zombie movies, but they never did appeal to me. i've never seen gone with the wind either. although, i'm sure there are no zombies in that movie. it might be an improvement. i think i saw the movie titanic maybe twice. i remember liking it, but the girly masses kind of ruined that ride for me. i haven't seen the notebook for that same reason. it could hold the secret of life and exude the smell of freshly baked cookies as you watch it, but i may never know. cuz girls gush about it and men gripe about having had to have seen it on a date. my wife still owes me for making me watch notting hill. course, she says the same thing about fight club. i hope at least one guy who reads this goes, "yeah!!! fight club!!!" the spiders are making webs in between the star wars figures i've got on my shelf. that means its time to clean. i just imagine them jumping from bossk to chewbacca going "weeeee!" i found the purple medley by Prince. it's eleven minutes of like every popular Prince song. it rocks. i still can't explain why i'm a Prince fan. i could probably blame kevin smith, but i think all he did was rekindle it. my favorite band is still They Might Be Giants. that's not really a step up or even a step sideways. i'm just weird. the indians call it maize. the teletubbies really freaked me out. i was changing channels one day and i came across an episode and i believed it was the beginning of the end. it's a darn good thing i never took drugs. especially that day. i probably would have jumped out a window, and i was on the first floor. i still can't believe john threw that fake TV at me. sabrina broke my finger. i wonder how much an orange jumpsuit would cost, and where i could find it. with no questions asked. i've been reading too many comic books lately. i need to read books without pictures in them. i've got a stack waiting to be read. especially the neil gaiman titles. or even the Bible. i hear that's got a lot of answers in it. ...but i know how it ends though. God wins, by the way. hope i didn't spoil it for you. great ending though. there's dragons and fire and demon frogs and dead horses and sheep. i doubt there will ever be a good movie made about it. probably not even a good cartoon. even with the CGI these days. stinkin hollywood. in a world where dreamgirls can be considered for the oscars... anyway! i got in big trouble for making the "DING!" sound every time the woman i married said that her head hurt. it was all in good fun. y'know, like when another number gets added to a counter. best example i could give you would be like the disney movie hercules when the sould dies and gets added to hades and it says now serving: (whatever number they have) "DING!" i was considering making it a drinking game. but i don't drink and i'm in enough trouble for the ding comment anyways. now i better say something nice to make up for that tomfoolery i just mentioned. actually, i'm crazy bout the woman. it's nice to have your up's and down's with the person you chose. it ain't easy. but she's worth it. i'm startin to sound sappy. and i'd better stop. especially since i'm currently listening to, yup you guessed it, Prince. and my thoughts could easily turn from nice to naughty. maybe i should switch over to Moby. but then my thoughts would switch over to confused and vegetarian. well, it's time to shake the magic eight ball and see what it says for you. ask a question while i shake... the eight ball says, "My sources say no." so there. the fates have decided. it's time for me to stop. next time i rant like this, i will be sure to be sleep deprived with at least one energy drink in me. probably a Rockstar. they are only 1.49 at save-a-lot. i hope nobody ruins that store. i need a place where i can buy .99 cent nachos and .69 cent 2 liter of Dr. Pop. but that's just me being hopeful in an area that becomes more and more hopeless. but cheer up. there are good movies coming out this spring and summer.

next: the story of the balloon.