Lightsabers and Lollipops

i just gotta know!
when you ...people rent DVD's,
do you end up using them as napkins?
is it something you ate that involved peanut butter and jelly?
i mean, what would make you place whole sticky hand and fingerprints all over the bottom side of the disc?

and i'm not talkin about the icky films that you rent from the back room when only guys are working in the store.
let's leave that alone.
i'm talkin bout movies like happy gilmore or reign of fire or season 2 of the office.
movies that shouldn't involve sticky sandwich toppings or fingerprints that C.S.I. could identify without using a computer.

and another thing!
do ya try to see how many times you can skip the DVD's across the parking lot before you return them?
do you tape them to the tire of your car and then drive to the video store?
i mean, if you don't like the movie, then don't take it out on the disc.
just return it to the video store so the next poor soul who rents ghostbusters 2 can hate it just as much but still be able to watch it in any player.
so what i'm saying, people, is:

STOPPIT. just stoppit. alright? alright.
now.
say you're sorry.

and did i mention the fact that i hate holidays?
yup, just hate em.
there is no Santa Claus.