Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Dinglenoose thinks smaller.
if you don't know who Dinglenoose is please refer to the archives.
funny stories.
to recap shortly, he is the demon who has been assigned to me by satan himself to make my life miserable.
his favorite method is sacrificing mice in strange places in order to make me almost regurgitate violently.
he already played his usual trick with a deceased mouse in my garage this month.
maggots were involved.
gross.
but today he sunk lower.
i swear he has been behind recent attacks on me by small winged creatures of all kinds.
i was driven all crazy-like by a fly that wouldn't stop landing on the SAME SPOT on the back of my leg constantly! it's like there was a little teeny steak dinner for flies on that very inch of my calf. it made me want to kill.
alot.
then there's this one pool that i clean that i swear has a family of horseflies that plan my very downfall. every week i'm there a different size fly with fangs buzzes and lands on my precious skin.
darn you Dinglenoose.
so.
this morning at my second stop the lady gave me a root beer. i thought it would hit the spot, but well, it missed.
i accidentally spilled the last half of the can on one of the buckets in the back of my truck.
no biggie.
by my third stop my pool was in a construction zone. when i got back to my vehicle there were about 20 yellowjackets swarming around the back of my truckaround the sticky pop spill.
so, like the Germans love David Hasselhoff, yellowjacket wasps love A&W root beer.
i couldn't get em outta there.
so i toss my equipment in the truck.
i must have looked like an idiot cuz i was literally throwing my stuff in there and then running backwards waving my arms to thwart off would be winged attackers.
the only chemical i had to ward them off was chlorine, but that was the bucket they were congregating on!
d'oh!
it took me 2 more stops to get rid of them.
i was like a wasp delivery service.
at the next stop they even followed me to the pool.
again, i looked like a fool to anyone who didn't know i was fighting off mini black and yellow demons.
i would have laughed if i wasn't me.
somehow. i didn't get stung! if it was my wife, she would have so gotten it.
she's allergic to the little buggers.
darn you Dinglenoose. i will be glad when they lock you back in hell. forever.
well, my point is: never let internet nerds promote your movie if it's gonna be rated "R"
p.s.
come to think of it, i've never proven that all those times i've been bitten by a bug in public, it wasn't some crazy people with a BB gun laughing hysterically while shooting from an undisclosed location. hmmmm.
if you don't know who Dinglenoose is please refer to the archives.
funny stories.
to recap shortly, he is the demon who has been assigned to me by satan himself to make my life miserable.
his favorite method is sacrificing mice in strange places in order to make me almost regurgitate violently.
he already played his usual trick with a deceased mouse in my garage this month.
maggots were involved.
gross.
but today he sunk lower.
i swear he has been behind recent attacks on me by small winged creatures of all kinds.
i was driven all crazy-like by a fly that wouldn't stop landing on the SAME SPOT on the back of my leg constantly! it's like there was a little teeny steak dinner for flies on that very inch of my calf. it made me want to kill.
alot.
then there's this one pool that i clean that i swear has a family of horseflies that plan my very downfall. every week i'm there a different size fly with fangs buzzes and lands on my precious skin.
darn you Dinglenoose.
so.
this morning at my second stop the lady gave me a root beer. i thought it would hit the spot, but well, it missed.
i accidentally spilled the last half of the can on one of the buckets in the back of my truck.
no biggie.
by my third stop my pool was in a construction zone. when i got back to my vehicle there were about 20 yellowjackets swarming around the back of my truckaround the sticky pop spill.
so, like the Germans love David Hasselhoff, yellowjacket wasps love A&W root beer.
i couldn't get em outta there.
so i toss my equipment in the truck.
i must have looked like an idiot cuz i was literally throwing my stuff in there and then running backwards waving my arms to thwart off would be winged attackers.
the only chemical i had to ward them off was chlorine, but that was the bucket they were congregating on!
d'oh!
it took me 2 more stops to get rid of them.
i was like a wasp delivery service.
at the next stop they even followed me to the pool.
again, i looked like a fool to anyone who didn't know i was fighting off mini black and yellow demons.
i would have laughed if i wasn't me.
somehow. i didn't get stung! if it was my wife, she would have so gotten it.
she's allergic to the little buggers.
darn you Dinglenoose. i will be glad when they lock you back in hell. forever.
well, my point is: never let internet nerds promote your movie if it's gonna be rated "R"
p.s.
come to think of it, i've never proven that all those times i've been bitten by a bug in public, it wasn't some crazy people with a BB gun laughing hysterically while shooting from an undisclosed location. hmmmm.
