Lightsabers and Lollipops

my computer's power supply decided go to computer heaven.
(and don't you go tellin me that there is no computer heaven and dashing my world view to bits! ...jerk.)
so i'm at my work computer, leaving you all this simple message that www.spacemanrocks.com will be back and happy and free as soon as i can find a new heart for my computer thingie.
...i tried to find a suitable donor at the office, but none of the old puters here has what it takes to keep up with my machine.
until then, courage!

drink pepsi.

Merry Robot Chicken Day!!!



joy joy joy joy joy aaaaaand joy!



i can't stop eating Double Stuf Oreos, i'm so stinkin happy.

i love KFC because when you burp it up, it tastes the same.
that's great!
it has the same flavor entering as it exits.



God Bless America!

4:00 AM.

cartoon network.

"the gary coleman show"

wow, just... wow.

if i time it right, i can turn it over to boomerang network to watch "robot stooges".

and if i really wanna torture myself, i can find the station that's showing "captain planet".

that's what they show to prisoners when they wanna make them talk without physically harming them.

psychological warfare.

i like taco bell.

i got sunburned today.

it's like, the first day of spring,

and i, i get a sunburn.

my poor lil bald head.

so tender.

i think i'm getting dummer by the day.

my wife told me to never make this face again.

you will have to believe that this roll was a strike.

how are you gonna prove me wrong?

sucka!

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monday and tuesday i was at another pretty dang boring seminar on pool chemicals. wasn't as wacky and fun as i'd hoped.
but there was pie. so all was not lost.
anyway, here's some of my free hotel notepad art.
be gentle.


not to scale.

considering that almost everybody else draws pictures of crude sexual situations often involving other employees, i think i should get a good grade for creativity.

...shut up.

it never struck me until now that the Count from Sesame Street had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

now i see it plain as day.




...and what did you mean "slow of mind"?!?!?

my daughter was flipping through my pictures and she stopped on this one and said to me, "daddy, maybe i could have these bunnies for my birthday."




all i could say without laughing too hard was, "maybe, we'll see.

one of these bunnies is real. the other, mmm, not so much.

but i wasn't about to explain that and ruin the innocence of the moment.

i sooo gotta buy this!

i don't feel i need to explain why.

shut up.

once upon a time i worked for a paint company.
so did john, joe, tim, rob and chris.
and most importantly, one of the most annoying people that i've ever met in the world also collected a paycheck from there. let's call him robert b.
he was one of those guys that if you talk to for all of 15 minutes you would agree he is the worst human being to breathe the same air as you.
he was a south suburbanite with a hick accent. there were many who made fun of him using the phrases "hyuck, hyuck" and the ever famous, "HERE AH YAM!"

anyway, hope you see my point. nobody liked him. even people who were convinced to that he was "the least of these" and tried their best to be nice to him ended up walking away with plots to have him murdered. it's an ugly world out there.
here's how we added to the ugliness (in a funny way):

on a day like any other, somebody made robert b. mad enough to injure himself. i got as many facts from john that i could. i tend to exaggerate and embellish. the way i was told was that robert b. stacked a 5 gallon metal bucket very harshly on top of another. the contents of said bucket splashed out and entered robert b.'s eyes. it being a flammable oil based product, this probably didn't feel too well. and he went cryin to the eye wash station and then went to the hospital.

well, you can imagine as word got around the warehouse, it turned into a sensational story and caused much uproarious laughter. i'm not gonna apologize. sometimes i'm just a mean person. so there.

then what happened next was stuff of legend. john takes the credit for this and by all means, i'm gonna let him have it.
we decided to celebrate the very next day of work. why the celebration?
because it was going to be a WHOLE DAY without robert b.

we came up with the name "just because..." day.

normally, on a co-workers birthday, we would pitch in and buy him a cake and make sure milton wouldn't get a piece. "just because..." day didn't land on anybody's birthday. but hey, we bought a cake anyway.



and that's not all!!! we made a whole hoopla out of it. i bought donuts for the morning festivities. we handed out cigars like a new baby had been born. it was quite a glorious day. and it was all due to someone getting injured and being unable to attend work. there was much laughter and merriment due to the absence of his high pitched, whiny, know-it-all voice.
what can i say? we were mean. so, nyah.

i like cake.

i was coughing and hiccuping simultaneously yesterday.
im sure thats a level of hell that dante failed to mention.

alright! because michelle demanded it, here's the story!

once upon a time i was dating this girl who would eventually break up with me.
i should have seen it coming.
on one fateful night we were walking in a park. kinda romantic, talkin bout couple things. moonlight, etc.
then outta nowhere a skunk runs across our path.
i did what any self respecting, loving, caring and endearing boyfriend would do.
i pushed her out of the way and ran like it was the end of the world.
not that i meant to, but shortly after she caught up with me she informed me that putting myself ahead of her safety and hygiene was exactly what i had done.
she laughed about it at the time, but sometimes i think it got the wheels turning...

this story made michelle laugh longer than usual. which is a long time, ladies and gentlemen.

i'm still working on my epic tale that i've been promising. but i reminded myself that when a person who runs a website tells you that they will "write something soon. i promise." that's usually the slow death of a site. for instance, matt. ZING!

i haven't had the creativity or mainly the time and energy to write an interesting readworthy entry. i do apologize for all the silly, perhaps even unfunny, pics and one liners. i will cook up something soon. but i ain't giving you any long stories unless i think they are worth your precious time. until then, don't touch my stuff.

WA HOO HOO HOO!!!!

and yet,
she still married me.

i have very poor olfactory senses.

do you really get to wear pajamas all day in an insane asylum?

i mean it, all day?

sweet.

this was my sisters Marie Osmond doll. i was gonna sell it on ebay.
but i found out it was only worth about 7 dollars.

so i'm keepin it, dangit!!!

...shut up.

EAT!

FLAMING!!

DEATH!!!!