Lightsabers and Lollipops

and this is why i don't like going to Cornerstone anymore.

do any of the people in this picture look like they are happy at all to see me?
i told my wife to take the picture fast of what i was about to do. the people in the little camping area i had never met before that pic was taken. and the only words i ever said to them were, hello and thank you. the jar of peanuts that i am holding was in the spot that i needed to sit my fanny. but honestly, in the earlier years of going to c-stone, john and i had some adventures where we could do no wrong and people gave us free things for just being alive.

here's a few of those tales:
(i'm gonna mix em up, and not get the facts straight cuz it was so long ago...)

1) the trunk of my lincoln town car was big enough to camp in. not that we did in fact, camp in it. but we did like to pop out of it and scare passers by to much of their joy and merriment. we did it one at a time. c'mon, we weren't stupid enough to both get in a trunk and be locked in until someone smelled the bodies. gimme some credit! besides, the guy outside had to warn the trunkee when the victims were coming.

2) john brought jugs full of tea. this led to him inviting everybody who had ears to hear to "tea parties." i think we were more popular than the people who had the "bubble party" a few tents down. they printed up flyers at home and everything. two words people: charis ma! they started calling him "teamaster. i think they even chanted. it seemed to die down so i went to sleep. at arrooound 1:30 AM john unzips the tent to wake me to say "there's at least 40 people out here! i ran outta tea and they won't go away!" i told him, sure, whatever, see you in the morning. went back to sleep.

3) some people like to dress up at cornerstone. Lord knows why. it's in july so it's hot & muggy or rainy and hot and muggy. there was one person dressed up as a clown that walked by our site. john saw him, yelled, "CLOWN!" and ran the opposite direction.
we did not see john until the next morning.

4) another person dressed up as michael myers. again, full outfit, rubber mask, hot and muggy. well, i decided to tackle him to the ground and scream, you killed my auntie! i've seen a few halloween movies.
i've never seen michael myers run away.

5) two kids were riding by on a horse. i went up to the horse and said, "they're beautiful. what are there names?" we gave the horse some corn. i don't believe we said a word to the kids.

6) we put out and empty tea jug with a note on it: need gas money to get home.
i believe we made about 19 dollars.
we didn't really need gas money...

7) we threw things at ellen in an exciting game called, "throw things at ellen"

8) we walked around asking for candy. you'd be surprised what people give you as a replacement for candy. or in fact, carry around large amounts of candy.
later on that day, we went around asking for something else free, i think money.
one guy asked us, "hey, aren't you the guys who were going around asking for candy?"
we glanced at each other and as if rehearsed we took off running like fugitives. the guy threw his water bottle at us. john halted, ran back, picked up the water bottle and we continued to run. never saying one word. we then proceeded on our quest for more free stuff.

9) i went up to the band named "the blamed" pointed my finger in their face and screamed, "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" and walked away.

10) a girl wanted us to take pictures of her group. john backed up in order to get the group in the shot, told me to run and we took off with her camera. we took pictures of random things. like: a lonely shoe, our names written in dust, wally...
then a light bulb appears over john's head as we are passing the men's shower area. he tells me, "when i say run, you'd better run fast and never look back."
he took the camera, turned it around the corner of the men's shower room and snapped a pic. laughing that hard and running can't be good for you.
we gave the camera back to the girl and did not tell her what we took pics of.
she sent him back some doubles of her pics. (i think john still gets mail under the name "teamaster") she couldn't believe that he took that pic. but the interesting thing about the picture of the shower room was, there were all sorts of nekkid men. but not one single dingle is showing. so it was like a made for TV movie. how on earth do you time that?

anywhat. there's only 10 stories from cornerstone for ya. someday i may tell you about the time i made about 75 dollars selling old t-shirts or when i almost ruined the Stryper concert. or maybe i won't.



here's a pic of me standing in the middle of THE APOCALYPSE.

why does no one else seem to be concerned?