Saturday, October 22, 2005
allllright.
i got permission from john to tell this story. it rocks. i was there.
waaaay back when we were in high skool we went to what we thought was gonna be another night of youth group. turns out we were expected to attend a churchy worship quartet concert. let's call the singing group, well, the um, witnesses.
being young and restless, the last thing we wanted to do was sit in pews and watch people clap their hands out of unison to pre-recorded music and over-practiced singing. if that's your thing, well, um er sorry. it's not mine. as the title of my website states, i rock.
sooooo, instead of wasting our precious teenage time at the show, we were hiding out in the church office. i believe there was about 5 or 6 of us. and out of boredom, john starts going through one of the girls' purse. ( i always consider this a bad i idea. women's purses are a scary black hole of craziness)
the girl in question had a small spray canister inside her bag. the sprayer in question held inside it defensive mace. now at this time in history, women were allowed to carry around military grade mace. not the weak pepper spray that is legal today. what she had was.. well, let's move on...
now john did what most people do when they pick up something with a button. he pressed it.
i was 2 feet away from him and tried with all my best efforts to warn him not to do such a thing. but as i said, "NO WAIT, JOHN, THAT'S TEAR....gas." yup, you guessed it, i didn't get to finish the two word combo, "tear gas" as the activator was depressed. even though the stream was aimed down at the floor and it was the teeniest, tiniest of squirts, it was enough to get everyone in the general vicinity choking.
it gets worse.
by then, the concert lets out.
and as usual back then, the concert was followed by a pot luck in the fellowship hall. deviled eggs, cookies and that jell-o dessert that no one touches.
keep in mind, one little squirt of mace (tear gas) has been released. as the concert attendees are making a beeline to the buffet tables they all start coughing.
women, children, elderly. no one escapes the gas. babies too.
john went and did the right thing. he admitted to our youth minister what he had done. a very brave thing to do. most kids in his situation would just run. so hats off to him for that.
at this point it had become very funny. there's nothing like choking and laughing at the same time. although i wouldn't suggest it.
to add fuel to the fire, one of the mom's started to really lay into matt, our youth minister. (y'know, all churches have at least one or two of these women. the ones that complain and moan about every little thing and make everything their business. so when they yell about something it's hard to take them seriously.) so as she's tearing matt a new one about how her kids were gasping for air, we were about 6 feet behind her rolling on the floor laughing. MAN! we were insensitive little jerks back then. as for me, i'm still pretty insensitive...
anyway, if there's a point to this story it's that ya just shouldn't force kids to go to boring concert event. bad things may happen. and the people who actually enjoy that stuff (God bless em for it) will have a better time because of it. so there.
tell em to go get kicked out of burger king instead.
mmmm zesty onion ring sauce. and all the dr. pepper you can drink. mmm hmmm.
oh. and don't do drugs.
i got permission from john to tell this story. it rocks. i was there.
waaaay back when we were in high skool we went to what we thought was gonna be another night of youth group. turns out we were expected to attend a churchy worship quartet concert. let's call the singing group, well, the um, witnesses.
being young and restless, the last thing we wanted to do was sit in pews and watch people clap their hands out of unison to pre-recorded music and over-practiced singing. if that's your thing, well, um er sorry. it's not mine. as the title of my website states, i rock.
sooooo, instead of wasting our precious teenage time at the show, we were hiding out in the church office. i believe there was about 5 or 6 of us. and out of boredom, john starts going through one of the girls' purse. ( i always consider this a bad i idea. women's purses are a scary black hole of craziness)
the girl in question had a small spray canister inside her bag. the sprayer in question held inside it defensive mace. now at this time in history, women were allowed to carry around military grade mace. not the weak pepper spray that is legal today. what she had was.. well, let's move on...
now john did what most people do when they pick up something with a button. he pressed it.
i was 2 feet away from him and tried with all my best efforts to warn him not to do such a thing. but as i said, "NO WAIT, JOHN, THAT'S TEAR....gas." yup, you guessed it, i didn't get to finish the two word combo, "tear gas" as the activator was depressed. even though the stream was aimed down at the floor and it was the teeniest, tiniest of squirts, it was enough to get everyone in the general vicinity choking.
it gets worse.
by then, the concert lets out.
and as usual back then, the concert was followed by a pot luck in the fellowship hall. deviled eggs, cookies and that jell-o dessert that no one touches.
keep in mind, one little squirt of mace (tear gas) has been released. as the concert attendees are making a beeline to the buffet tables they all start coughing.
women, children, elderly. no one escapes the gas. babies too.
john went and did the right thing. he admitted to our youth minister what he had done. a very brave thing to do. most kids in his situation would just run. so hats off to him for that.
at this point it had become very funny. there's nothing like choking and laughing at the same time. although i wouldn't suggest it.
to add fuel to the fire, one of the mom's started to really lay into matt, our youth minister. (y'know, all churches have at least one or two of these women. the ones that complain and moan about every little thing and make everything their business. so when they yell about something it's hard to take them seriously.) so as she's tearing matt a new one about how her kids were gasping for air, we were about 6 feet behind her rolling on the floor laughing. MAN! we were insensitive little jerks back then. as for me, i'm still pretty insensitive...
anyway, if there's a point to this story it's that ya just shouldn't force kids to go to boring concert event. bad things may happen. and the people who actually enjoy that stuff (God bless em for it) will have a better time because of it. so there.
tell em to go get kicked out of burger king instead.
mmmm zesty onion ring sauce. and all the dr. pepper you can drink. mmm hmmm.
oh. and don't do drugs.
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yeah nerd. there was a gag order on the details of this situation. but, now the people may know, how it all went down. amen.
I was there.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was the funniest thing that I think ever happened - with someone actually admitting it.
John had some real guts to doing the right thing and saying something.
Oh, as for the woman who started in on the YM, well, I dont remember who it was, but lets face it, people like that need to complain about things. If they didnt, they would explode. It wasnt like he did anything mean, illegal, or really disrespectful. It was a mistake - and a funny one at that. Kids do that at times.
Yes, after reading that, I now feel old.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was the funniest thing that I think ever happened - with someone actually admitting it.
John had some real guts to doing the right thing and saying something.
Oh, as for the woman who started in on the YM, well, I dont remember who it was, but lets face it, people like that need to complain about things. If they didnt, they would explode. It wasnt like he did anything mean, illegal, or really disrespectful. It was a mistake - and a funny one at that. Kids do that at times.
Yes, after reading that, I now feel old.
# posted by 
: 3:15 PM
: 3:15 PM
You have a couple of errors in the story.
First, you left out that it was "Bring a friend day" at DCCC. Not only were members coughing their heads off, but also their guests. Most of which, this was their first impression of Deer Creek. They show up, and they get tear gassed.
Second, I was the one getting yelled at by a woman that had every right to do so, at the time. Her baby was all of maybe a month old and subjected to tear gas. Now that I'm an adult and I look back at it, I would have been more concerned with getting my family out of there than throwing a temper. But that's just me. I remember exactly who it was, but I don't think it's all that appropriate to say it here. Ask me in person. =)
Third, it was you and Matthew standing behind her cracking up laughing while I was getting yelled at. It was sooooooo hard to not laugh at you guys while this woman was ripping me a new one. Just imagine what kind of fuel that would have added to her already blazing fire.
And, there you have it. To the best of my memory at least.
www.modernpope.com
We tear gas babies, just ask Space. =)
First, you left out that it was "Bring a friend day" at DCCC. Not only were members coughing their heads off, but also their guests. Most of which, this was their first impression of Deer Creek. They show up, and they get tear gassed.
Second, I was the one getting yelled at by a woman that had every right to do so, at the time. Her baby was all of maybe a month old and subjected to tear gas. Now that I'm an adult and I look back at it, I would have been more concerned with getting my family out of there than throwing a temper. But that's just me. I remember exactly who it was, but I don't think it's all that appropriate to say it here. Ask me in person. =)
Third, it was you and Matthew standing behind her cracking up laughing while I was getting yelled at. It was sooooooo hard to not laugh at you guys while this woman was ripping me a new one. Just imagine what kind of fuel that would have added to her already blazing fire.
And, there you have it. To the best of my memory at least.
www.modernpope.com
We tear gas babies, just ask Space. =)
# posted by : 3:44 PM
: 3:44 PM
wow, how did i get that part wrong about who was getting yelled at. probably cuz there were tears in my eys from choking AND laughing. but that's right! matt was pretty unfeeling about your getting yelled at. i guess he just felt good to NOT be the one catching all the flack for once. good times. HAPPY BRING A A FRIEND DAY!
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