Lightsabers and Lollipops

this entry has been a long time on my mind to write, but i wanted to do it some justice and not mess it up. so here goes.

here's the reasons why i don't cheat:

1) it'd be too much work.

2) i'd not only be cheating on my wife, but i'd be cheating on my kids as well. and i like them.

3) i'd have to shave more often

4) my wife's the one i chose. it took me awhile to find her. so there.

5) i'm afraid i'm not a very good liar. plus we all know that in order to cover up one simple lie, you have to tell another lie. and after a while you can't keep your story straight anymore. then you just look like an idiot. then nobody trusts you, and trust is hard to earn. especially earn back. plus i can't lie to my wife would figure me out pretty quickly. she's one of the smart ones. she may be difficult at times, but not dumb.

6) john would soooo kill me.

7) when i dream, she's who i'm married to. if i'm not married in the dream, she's the one i'm dating. so, subconsciously, i'm not happy with anyone else.

8) i was in the grocery store and noticed a girl i was attracted to, a split second later i realized it was my wife. so on a somewhat conscious level she's the one i look for.

9) she lets me get away with everything, cuz she knows all of the above is true.

10) and on top of all that, i'm so naive that if i was put in a situation that i was forced to chose, i would somehow lose that opportunity without even knowing it. if you read my past entries (and you should) you would know that i just can't talk to women.