Lightsabers and Lollipops

AND THE REAL NAME OF SPACEBOY IS.....


(dramatic music plays)

(picture fades to black)

I'VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO KEPT RUNNING INTO ME AND GENERALLY GETTING IN MY WAY AT WAL-MART TODAY:

BIRTH CONTROL.

JUST STOP MAKING BABIES PEOPLE. STOP IT.

THERE, WHEW. I SAID IT.
MAN! UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE.

JUST PLAIN STOP WITH THE BABY MAKIN'! MAYBE I WILL ELABORATE ON THIS LATER, BUT I JUST HAD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST WHILE I WAS STILL MAD ABOUT IT...
SIGH.

STOP.

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS WORTH OF CUTLERY!!!!

slice and dice, in style.

the previous owners left behind their satellite dish from dish network.

my wife and i decided to go direct TV for our viewing pleasure.
cuz the dish network people pissed me off.
don't ask.

and now i don't really know what to do with the old dish. and i should get rid of it before i look like total white trash by having a defunct satellite dish sitting in my overgrown weedy lawn for years.

i was considering attaching it to a helmet and running around at social events. shouting things like, "WE'RE HERE LIVE TO BRING YOU (insert social event here)!!!"

i will probably just toss it somewhere that's not my yard.

i was thinking about putting a go-cart track in my front yard.

i've got enough room.
there'd be a lot less to mow.

i mean, C'MON!!!

GO-CARTS!!!!


...GOOOOO-CARTS!!!!!

i don't feel i need to explain my art to you, warren.

Guess who's back.
back again.
Spacey's back. tell a friend.

no seriously, tell a friend.

hey! i'm back on the eeen-trrr- nett! oh joyous day! i thought this event would never happen.

the man was keeping me down. well, actually that, and my own stupidity...
i thought the dsl filter was so that you could filter in the dsl. not so you could filter out your other phones.... spacey not so smart sometimes. but at least i'm fun to cuddle.

DON'T TOUCH!

i'm sure i lost some loyal followers, fans and hangers on in my absence. and i'm sure there were those who just couldn't give a rip if i fell off the edge,
into the abyss, onto the puke green shag carpet,
that we sometimes call hell.

but for those of you who did not give up hope, there's a prize under your chair...

later.

as for an update on the incoming spawn of spaceman, the boy is just about done cooking. he just needs to come out and see the rest of the world. heaven knows that there have been many who have been praying night and day for the little "as yet to be named" tyke. and they are all anxious to see him. august 1st is a comin', but he can pop out any time if he so desires...

just not this sunday, that's my anniversary
of being married
to my wife
whom i love deeply
and don't want to share that day
with my kid
for every birthday
of every year
so on and so forth
call me selfish
so there.

by the way,
there are no monsters in your closet.


they are under your bed...

sleep tight.

i am outside of the bubble!!!!!

OJABOVIK!!!!!

i apologize profusely to all of you for having to read the whole hammertime thing for about the last week. i do bet that 9 out 10 of you went "doo doo doo doo doon do do doo doo" out loud.

my internet at my new house should be up and running by, um, tuesday...
i've been walking around in circles lately, not knowing what to do with that amount of time i usually spend in front of my puter.
i've been gettin all sorts of stuff done whilst not attached to my internetical machine, like organizing my possessions by putting things on top of other things, or coloring on the walls.

watched fantastic four today. it was a fun flick. i'm becoming more and more of a jessica alba fan. i'm even considering watching the movie "honey" but i just can't see myself sitting through it.
i mean, i already sat through "you got served" (and actually liked it, to my surprise) although, i am a big fan of breakin 1 and 2 :electric boogaloo.

but yay for jessica alba, just plain yay.

STOP!!!!

hammertime.