Lightsabers and Lollipops

whether i had three wishes,  or a million wishes i would make sure that the first wish was this:

that absolutley none of my wishes would backfire on me.

i've seen and read way too many stories and shows where the wishes turn wrong due to the wording of the request.

so take that monkey's paw! etc. etc. etc.

things i want to happen before i die:

1)  become the voice of a cartoon character

2)  punch a camel

3)  organize the star wars room...the star wars attic....um, er the star wars garage... sigh.

4)  get my sock monkey zippo lighter to work

5)  have at least one action figure in my name

6)  read all the books i own, i keep buying them faster than i can read them...

7)  fly

8)  visit somewhere not on this continent

9)  buy a new mini van...the space van 2.0

10)  make several TV appearances, then have a true hollywood story about them

so there.

there.
i updated.

happy?

Remember: when visiting this website you must sign the guestbook.
if you don't sign the guestbook, you don't exist.
if you don't exist, you don't get pie.
and the pie... is delicious.

the phrase that is most commonly used in my car, and probably everyone else's, has got to be "C"MON!!!!"
like as in COME ON! MOVE! etc. etc.
think about it.


and by the way jordan, it was Aquafresh.

i was tossing the tube of toothpaste from one hand to the other and the somewhat pointy sharp end that does not squirt out toothpaste landed square on my palm, thus cutting me.
i said, "ow!...i mean...ow! did that really break the skin?...yes, yes it did. ow!"
and that's how i cut my hand with toothpaste.
don't try this at home kids.

i accidentally cut my hand with toothpaste today. i'm the only person i know who has done that.

things to do:

1) stalk your dentist. find out how he spends his money.

2) throw things at people.

3) find out what you can get free on your birthday.

4) glue rocks to your skin and run around pretending to be "the Thing" from the fantastic four.

5) lie in a fetal position in the kids section at borders until they ask you to leave.

6) rig up an "alien look-a-like" to burst out of the stomach of your t-shirt like in the movie "alien". go to denny's and see how it works. then ask for an application.

7) toss powdered donuts to people wearing black suits. they love that...

8) become a Spaceman Dancer!

9) wear a different color helmet everyday.

10) bring back spandex and silk shirts.

so i'm at target today, tryin to pick out a "just because" card for the wifey. y'know, those cards that all girls and sometimes guys want that warrant no special occasion.
anyway, i'm going to tell you about one of the many things that get on my lat nerve.
it's other shoppers who won't give you your personal space while browsing!
there are MANY sections on the greeting card aisle. MANY!!!
why do other people feel the need to stand on top of me while im looking at any given section.
i could be looking at the "i'm sorry you're grandfather's addicted to crack" section, and someone would step on or in front of me while i'm picking up cards. ARRRRGH!
let me let you shoppers in on a little hint. c'mere...closer...
SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE TO BE CLOSE TO OTHER STRANGE PEOPLE!!!! LET'S CALL THIS HAVING PERSONAL SPACE, OKAY?
i like having my personal space, maybe that's where the name comes from ...sort of. i consider about a foot or two around me to be mine. i may not be occupying it, but that does not mean that you or anybody else should feel free too. in fact, why don't you keep a foot or three around yourself as well.
if it can't be avoided, then fine, but try not to prolong the experience.
sigh, this was supposed to be a fun rant.
but i went and got carried away.
i just get emotional when it comes to people tickin me off.
don't make me get stabby.