Lightsabers and Lollipops

there is nothing in your closet. i have done nothing, or especially placed nothing even semi-dangerous in YOUR closet. in fact, to go and check your closet now would be a lack of trust in me on your part, and that would just hurt my feelings. and then i'd have to pinch you really hard. then you would be pinched really hard by me, and there would still be nothing in your closet! because trust me, there is nothing to fear.....

um, don't look in your basement either...