Lightsabers and Lollipops

Bwaaaa Hahahahhahahahahahahhhaaaaaa

i had that dream about the gyros again.

this time Zack Ward was in it.

he was throwing stuff at me.

and i never got the gyros.

and now: KIDNAPPED!

last friday i got a call at 11:30 AM from hannah. i was sleeping late for the first time this winter so i was little groggy and stinky. she informed me to be ready in 5 minutes because she and nick were picking me up for breakfast.

now i realize most people who are kidnapped don't get warning or at the very least a phone call. this is only my second time being kidnapped so bear with me. the other time was a little more abrupt.

so i rolled outta bed and performed what i would call a "Junior High" shower.
i rolled on some deodorant and sprayed on lots of Axe body spray. as i finished brushing my teeth and throwing on a clean shirt and pants they were outside and ready to go.
and i know, most people being taken away from the comfort of their home to an unknown location don't willingly climb into the back seat of a car, but somebody mentioned breakfast. and i do love being served breakfast.


so off we go. an adventure awaiting. we ended up at a country club where old women were watching the news and playing cards. nick had some weird coupon that entailed the more you spent, the more you saved. housewife shopping trip logic i imagine. (that last sentence took me 10 minutes to try to configure, and i'm stiil not sure i got it right.)
so anyway. it was too late to serve breakfast.
sad.
i was looking forward to something with bacon and gravy on top of it. mmmm bacon.

hannah and nick ordered hot chocolates right off the bat. i declined. regretting it later as they were served.
next was the decision on what to order from the lunch menu. i'm one of those people who looks at the menu 100 times over until the server asks what we would like. i never wanna regret not ordering this over that. in that same way i defeat myself by having a back plan or "plan B" in case the server informs me that they don't have any more or "you'll shoot your eye out, kid."

i did have my stomach set on the buffalo chicken sandwich but then something from the pasta selections caught my eye.

SPASAGNA!

a mixture of spaghetti and lasagna. for those who just can't decide. not that i planned at that point to order either.
the line from the menu that won me over read, and i quote: "You haven't lived until you've had Spasagna."
and since frankly, i haven't really been living lately, i had no choice but to order Spasagna!

i asked if i could have the soup instead of the salad. i'm just not a salad eating man. so there.
then the waitress informed us we needed to spend $1.35 more to make the coupon work. nick had only ordered the hamburger.
the cheapest thing on the menu, and we thought he knew how to play this game.
so they ordered me up a bowl of chili. now keep in mind i had an order of Spasagna on the way and a bowl of soup already in my belly.
but then again, i am an eating machine.
it's one of the reasons people have told me they like having me around. food does not go to waste. that, and hopefully i'm good conversation.

so at last: SPASAGNA!





it was pretty darn good. i believe most people would call it "baked spaghetti" but then, most people can't think up fun mish moshed words like Spasagna.

feeding the three of us, deluxe hot chocolates and all, came out to about 17 dollars American. sweet deal.
after that, i was dropped off at my house feeling just a little bit heavier than i did when i was woken up 2 hours earlier. i watched a few episodes of Pushing Daisies and the day went on from there.
i still feel my life was profoundly changed.





and what the heck is this thing!?!?!!?

Next: KIDNAPPED!

i think we should give up all this Christmas tradition nonsense and just buy a cake and presents for Jesus. i think he would enjoy a red velvet cake and a Remington shaver or Nintendo Wii bundle.


i know.
i know.
stand clear for the lightning to strike anytime folks.


i'm just sayin'...

Anger. Pain. Fear. Aggression.




Dark Knight on blu-ray and DVD everybody. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!



too bad i don't have any money....


but i will find a way, don't you worry.


so there.

i had a dream last night that i was back at work but somehow i ended up fighting a half-lion/half rhino. my only weapons were my pool truck and my wits. i think there were baby alligators as well.

the only thing that was keeping me from driving fast and far away was that the assortment of animals had spilled dry chemicals from my truck and the rich people would be mad and throw tantrums despite the epic battle between me and these revelation like beasts.

typical.

well, it finally happened, and now i don't know what to believe in.




i finally lost Star Wars Trivial Pursuit at a youth event. i've lost the game before to like bud or chris, but never when a free trip was on the line.

let's catch the rest of you up. i'm a pretty big fan of Star Wars. the books, the movies, the merchandise, even the Holiday Special (which, by the way, today is the 30th Anniversary.)

in which case, it's hard for me to find people to play a game that centers around the trivia of that universe. so my youth minister made it challenging. he laid down the gauntlet that if someone beat me at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit then they earn a free youth group related trip. (except for big mission trips like the Dominican Republic, that's just crazy.)
besides, up til now it was a pretty safe bet. kids were playing that didn't know there were more than 3 movies. or couldn't tell the difference between luke and anakin skywalker.

but then along came justin. last week he tried and failed, but it was close.
this week he challenged me and made sure "it was on!"
and i thought , "it was SO on!"

drank my Lost Cadillac energy drink brought to me by dan from jungle jim's.





but, when it was all said and done, there was nothing i could do to win. he was getting the questions right, i was getting hard questions like, "who played the head ewok?" (it was jack purviss, but even i didn't know that.)

so my winning streak is dead and gone. there's s new head nerd in town, his name is justin. it's good to be the king!
all the while when he had all the pieces of pie and was heading towards the winner circle on the board, i kept saying, "josh is gonna kill me."
but, i gotta say, it was about time. it probably didn't feel so bad cuz nobody was around to rub it in my face. although i did hear "we are the champions" by queen in the background and it wasn't being sung for me.

so there was only one thing left for me to do.






drink myself to death with Hershey's chocolate syrup.



DEATH BY CHOCOLATE!!!!!