Lightsabers and Lollipops

now that's a lotta meat!!!



i DJ'd an outdoor wedding last weekend. my co-workers provided the smoker grill called "the big green egg" for the main meat selections like ham and pork. they cooked it all up right!
the rest of the sides were provided by caterers, also delicious.

after i took this picture i made my usual comment, "this is just like that dream i had."
there was some confusion and the question, "you dream about meat?"
i mentioned something like the way to my heart is through my stomach.
but let's face it. i just have weird dreams.
and more importantly, not everyone understands my humor.

the best way i can put it is like when homer simpson has dream sequences and he's constantly eating food that floats by him. that's what i meant.

you sickos.

this is where the bee lives.



this is the time of year the bugs go crazy cuz their time is almost done. especially the bees.
the picture here displays flowers that hang right above the skimmer of the pool i gotta clean. there's no other place to work on the pool, so had to keep remembering to duck.
you may not be able to see it, but these flowers are crawling with bumblebees.
the big fuzzy kind that sound like helicopters if they get anywhere near your ear.
i would have estimated there were about ten on each flowery thing.
be afraid, be very afraid.



i changed my mind i hate the bee.

this had to be like the worst play ever.

OH! THE MYTHOLOGY!!!



and then some homeless guy went and burnt down the giant leprechaun.

true story.

who is this mysterious masked ninja who laughs in the night?

At last, a Dinglenoose story: An act of kindness.

it all started when i opened up the pool cover and saw a wee little mouse stranded atop a safety rope anchor. i catually said, NO WAY! out loud. he was dry. so that meant he was hanging on to the bottom of the cover and i messed up his routine somehow. and so here he was. stuck.



then i tried to net him out. of course he resisted and climbed into the auto cover track.
so i decided not waste time trying to fish him out. and sure enough, 2 minutes later he decided to take a dive. after that it was easy to catch him in the net.



now, being an enemy of nearly all mice everywhere (see Dinglenoose References in the archives. that's what they are there for people!) my first instinct was to kill him without remorse.
but since i was in a town that was an hour away from mine, i decided to let him go so he could reak havoc on the south burbs. maybe he could put in a good word to the other evil mice and leave me alone. which, knock on wood, my family hasn't had to deal with dinglenoose and his stinkiness for awhile. AND I PLAN ON KEEPING IT THAT WAY! so ya hear me, Dingle?!? you start things up again...dead. YA HEAR ME!?! ...dead.

so there. i hope i don't regret this. time will tell.

Drink Pepsi.

i have watched so many poopy movies in which the preview made it look freakin awesome.

i think there needs to be an awards show for the people who make movie previews.

for the underdogs of the industry.

prizes for people who made a pathetic drama look like the funniest comedy ever, or made the unexceptional look phenomenal, etc.

make it hap'n cap'n.

Burger King flavored chips!?!!?



cheryl was brave enough to try the chips that were supposed to taste like ketchup and fries.

and here's her reaction:



truth be told, they tasted alot more like the ketchup than the fries. i'm never buyin em again. but i am tempted to try the flame broiled whopper ones.

i'm silly like that.

bang bang chitty chitty bang bang.

Space and the craziest girl from Iowa.

patent pending.

most pathetic cat ever.



this old farm cat comes up and says hi to me while i'm cleaning a pool. well, actually it doesn't really meow. it just opens it's mouth like it's gonna meow, but it's like the sound is on mute.
it's fur is falling off all over it's body. it's eyes are all crusty. it's nose is all blackened. and it's ear is all torn up from some fight or something.
i pet it for just a little bit. but not too long, i'm always afraid that if i touch this cat then the next animal i touch will die. i wash my hands with a wetnap after scratching it's ear for a few seconds.

i wish i could have got a better picture, but it wasn't being cooperative.

every time i see this thing i'm surprised it's still alive.

p.s. i can finally hear out of my right ear, but it came at a price...

Casualties of war.



this was the first loss of the Green/Tan War. although no shots were fired at the time, the Tan Army had an overzealous young private who couldn't wait to see at least one thing explode.
well, that's not totally true.
he did wait too long to throw his grenade.

so sad.

he had a family! darn it all!

...they received a letter that their daddy had died in a "training exercise."

after that it was all a political fiasco and the war had begun.

and the rest... is history.

strikin' a pose. hopin' the ladies will notice.



ben couldn't help but run up and imitate this guy. you wold have thought he would have broke character when the camera was pointed and people were laughing at him and not with him. so my dirty cowboy hat goes off to him.



eerily similar?
i found this pic while i was looking up Dr. Horrible's sing-a-long blog.


cowboy up!

http://drhorrible.com/

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! ...please?



john tells me it's all about confidence and timing.

but, for some, it's all about getting people to sign a duck and wearing a clown wig and pimp hat that can be seen from outer space.

i think for me it's all about good looks and sparkling personality.

i was in the middle of shaving my head when the power went out.

best special edition packaging ever.

HEY EVERYBODY! OLE SPACEY'S BACK!


back from C.I.Y. and first off i would like to congratulate team 6, which we re-named "The Spaceman Dancers", for their great job at winning first place in the pyramid race. sadly there was no prize involved and if i would have known that i would have been prepared. the best i could do was a free enrollment to the Green Army and a small mr. potato head.



we got more pics on the way. lemme spoil it a bit by saying they include: casualties of war, the craziest girl in iowa and autographed ducks.

PUPPIES.