Lightsabers and Lollipops

good idea/bad idea.


dan says i should get this.
my wife says i do not.

i'm gonna go with my wifey on this one.

my sister is gettin crazy with the email forwards lately. but at least she does send me funny stuff. the following is one of those. in fact i wish i had written it. instead, i stole it and posted it on my site. so there.

HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!!!!

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down


Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note: these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothin g's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, or BASKETBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

bricks!



as i'm getting older, balder and fatter i keep runnin into more youngins that don't believe that i had a lion's mane of hair back in the day.

i'm pretty sure i've posted this pic before, but since most of you don't believe in researching my historical archives well here ya go.

this was one of my 1993 senior year photos.
and for those of you who think that i photoshopped in hair give me way too much credit. i'm lucky i know how to crop picures.

so there.

keep it real, homey.

du?



so many things come to mind when i see this picture.

....none of them good.

i bet the germans still love him.

SUUUUUUUUUUUUURGE!



this photo of me and nate reminds me that i'm not old.
i'm just closer to death than i've ever been.

i'm just asking to get kidney stones again just by looking at this pic.
... but look at that how happy that guy holding the bottle of heavily caffeinated greenish liquid looks. how can you say no to that face.

now Surge is called Vault. and i continue to roll the dice.

could be worse, i could addicted to smoking, drinking ...or crack.
i just hope i don't lose my leg to diabetes.

if i have to lose my leg, i hope it involves saving a schoolbus full of children. or at the very least, a lost kitten.

one of those kids or cat better grow up to be president if i give up my leg for them. ....or else. (shakes fist)

anyway, i hope you see my point.

you're better than drugs.

see this, Barry?

what you got there, LaVon?

why it's a box a puddin, Barry.



what's it say, LaVon?

see right here? it says, "cook and chill."
and that's what i do all night, baby.
i cook, and then i chill.

awwwww yeah.

I'm going to the HARDWARE STORE!

MOVIES! MOVIES! MOVIES!



sigh. it's probably never gonna happen.

d a r n y o u Hollywood.


...although, Fantastic Four 2 looks cool.


mmm jessica alba...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0198954/

why??

i need to figure out a way to get Oprah to support or even mention www.spacemanrocks.com

you people would eat babies if she told you to.

not that we here at www.spacemanrocks.com an any way condone eating babies.

for the record, eating babies is wrong.

i just fear the day when Oprah blatantly uses her powers for evil.

i know that day is coming. the madness will spread.

i also just hope that she supports or mentions www.spacemanrocks.com before that day arrives.


p.s. we are number one on Google when you look up modernpope.com

Wheaties! breakfast of champions!

Day 2

more pictas from my boring seminar.



this was the morning pic. fun fun.

p.s. people of boston, the pictures above are NOT bombs. they are mooninites.
just a clarification. and now, haircuts of the 70's...



i feel i did well on the G.I. Joe pics at first. but, after a bit, there was a late comer to the class that decided to sit next to the seat next to me.
he was a heavy breather. very distracting.
sigh.
after awhile, i'm sure he kept sitting closer to me. the room seemed to be closing in. i hate people.



you can tell i was sorta givin up by the sad pics above of these popular marvel characters. mmmm, jessica alba.


Day 3



and this is the last day. i was plain out of energy at this point. i was somewhat proud of the Devastator but i'm ain't so proud of the mini-Optimus Prime. plus it seems that the room was leaning a bit. then my work slid more when i just decided to copy my mountain dew can. sigh.

well, that's it.

dew. be dew. be dew.

more.....pictures.......coming.....

too........tired.....

to......

mess with.......

.......scanner.................

well, february. time for seminars. training for the pool bidness.



here's what i learned today.

maybe more tomorrow.

two more days of this...

Pray


For



Spacey.

Prince fans unite!



um, go bears?

i can't write an entry now!

that's just what they would expect me to do...