Lightsabers and Lollipops

who else was drivin a truck around my neighborhood last night at 5:33 playing "Master Exploder" by Tenacious D at an ultra high volume?

me baby. that's right, just me.

Joe's here!


...and that's when the monkey and the girl teamed up to punch me right in the face.

can't say i didn't have it coming.

but that monkey wasn't all that innocent either...

Coming up next we will have "Behind the Music with the band Morbid Curiosity."

but first we will have a brief history of Spaceman's love of country music.


...



"i hate country music." -Space


thanks, and now. stay tuned for a behind the scenes look behind what we like to call, "the metal years."

okee dokee.
i kinda promised i would write about this chapter of my life to someone who's name starts with "H".

i haven't checked the spacemanrocks archives so hopefully this story isn't a repeat. if so, hopefully i will put in some new spins, twists, curves and knee joints.

we are going to take a trip in the "wayback machine" to retrospect the history of my involvement in the musical genre.

especially that of when i was in a band or two. i was the lead vocalist on more than one occasion for bands that played that wonderful sound that we have all come to know and love as "METAL."

i'm trying to recall this in order. hopefully i get it all right. high skool was a long time ago...

i remember in 8th grade i had a plan. i was gonna form a band. i had all i needed to start (according to my young lil brain.)
i had a name.

LEGEND

i was of course, lead vocals. whenever i got my hands on a guitar i was also gonna be play rhythm. my friend john k. was pre destined to play drums since he played them in jr. high band. what better reason?
it wasn't the best plan, but the wheels were turning in my head.

between 8th grade and freshmen year i worked all summer long at my dad's pool company. i pretty much got paid at the end of the break with my pick of a guitar at the shop that bought a spa from the company.

the flying V's were screamin out to me. and somedays i wonder how my life would have been different if i would have gone that route.
but the guitar that really jumped at me was from the Peavey Generation series. it was a one of a kind design. it was a tortoise shell design and looked purple in some light and almost black in other light.


the guitar pictured is not the actual one, i don't have any pics of it and neither do you.

the dealer threw in a Peavey Rage amp (one of the best wee lil amps you'll ever find)and we were on our way to greatness.

of course, i've never had the gift.
i have always had the love of the music, but never the, i guess the word would be aptitude.
my right hand would never communicate with my left. i think it might have been that fall i took off the stairs when i was a young lad.
plus the fact that i rarely practiced, unless you count the times in front of the mirror pretending to be a rock star.
took lessons, the teacher took off west for reasons unknown.

anyway, carried the guitar around to events. it rarely came outta the case. at that time i was in the habit of carrying a pick in my pocket.

since i was sooo stinkin cool and had the "Rock Star" look down i started getting offers to be in bands.

i hope i get these in order.

the first one was just some guys in my same class. never went anywhere. in fact the guy who was gonna be a drummer had... problems. he got beaten up so badly by another person in skool that the paramedics had to cut his shirt off. he was mad cuz it was his favorite megadeth shirt. he was also suspected for stabbing an ex-girlfriends horse in the neck like 47 times. i believe he also wrote her notes in blood, his i hope. anyway, that band never took off, the bassist never liked me.

then i was going to be the vocalist of a semi-religious band i think titled "tower."
i went to one practice at the church, i can't say for sure but i think they wanted me to be a Lutheran as well. so out i went. i went and saw them at a battle of the bands. it was the same year that "the doors" movie came out. they were the only band that DID NOT play L.A. Woman. their vocalist who replaced me was too shy to look at the audience. he faced the drummer the whole time. it was embarrassing to watch. they broke up shortly after.

then there was my favorite.

MORBID CURIOSITY


pictured from left to right: eric, drums. dan, guitars. Space, vocals. and um, drew? bass.

now that was a somewhat serious gig.
i got in by being in choir with the bassist. (yes, i was in choir. shut up)
he of course asked me into the band because i looked like a singer. luckily, the band was metal and i could growl. the guitarist was awesome. he was the heart of the band. we would practice at his house. we did have trouble again with the drummer. he had did some time in jail. he also had recent dents and cracks on his car cuz of a fight he had in which he threw the other guy onto his car.
we had to let him go, considering he went back to jail and wasn't coming out any time soon.
so we got another drummer, he worked out pretty good. the only problem we seemed to have with each other was he was into satan and i was into Christ. he wanted to play slayer and i wanted to sing Vengeance Rising. (oh the irony nowadays.)

we had some serious songs under our belt. at least 2 originals. i have one on tape, and i really really want it recorded digitally. a song called, "forever sleep."

well, we hung out alot. got the name around, even hung out enough to practically be roadies for a band called "neuro toxin."
side note: the guitarist was friends with smashing pumpkins before they were big. he kept telling em to check em out, but they weren't metal enough for me. he even knew their dog. (bugs superstar)

after some good times and tunes, they kicked me out. reason: the bassist wanted to sing. he thought the girls would throw themselves at him if he was on the mic. unfortunately, he was pretty ugly, so that plan didn't work for him. he soon left the band.
he was replaced by his cousin, who was actually better.
shortly after, i was asked back into the band. and we got back to rockin.
one day, the drummer brought some groupie girls to a practice. they were your typical metal fan girls. tight jeans with designs down the sides, usually involving metal medallions. white shirts, black leather jackets with tassles and big big hair.
the drummer told me that he asked the later what they thought of the singer (me.)
one of the girls tilted her head to the side and said, "eh, i'd do him."
that was one of the two times in my life that i've heard that said about me.
i won't tell you about the other time...
in neither instance, have i ever been, um, done.

anywayyyyyyyy, we rocked hard. i played bass on one song. we even made a thrash version of old mcdonald. but, got kicked out again. gently this time. the drummer's love of satan had taken over. he wanted me out, and the guitarist wanted more diversity in the sound. maybe he saw the change comin. metal would die soon. come back, die, come back and die again. i blame Jack Black.

and that was that. i caught up with the guitarist some time later and found that "Morbid Curiosity" was no more and that he was playing in a band called Dionysus. i'm sure he's been involved in several projects since then. who knows?


notice the acid washed jeans on Space.

i was actually accepted into one more band after that. but that was just for one whole day. they even had a manager that made me promise to wear a scarf when it was cold cuz my voice was my instrument. but for some reason me and my friend mike (who got me in the band) never showed up for the second practice.

the closest thing to being in a band that i can remember was a group we formed at Cornerstone Festival called "Happy as Hell, my foot." ...but that's a story for another time.

be sure to leave a comment on spacemanrocks.com



or else a giant talking bar of soap will visit you in the middle of the night.

...and you'll never be heard from again.

The Ski Trip

(deep breath) ...okay.

Day 1

off to a later start than i'd like. i would love to pack everythin the night before like i used to, but two things prevent me from doing so.
1) i don't want to pre-load a pool truck with items like my skis, xbox and various knick knacks considering that i also store chlorine and other pool cleaning products that tend to corrode metal.

2) i don't live in a neighborhood that i trust to leave my valuables just inside my truck overnight.

i also stopped at speedway to buy some tasty breakfast sammiches and some caffeinated drinkage.
we load up, we get a move on.
the trip there is fun and fairly uneventful.
we did stop at a small gas station to use the bathroom and buy snackeys.
40 some kids using one lil bathroom. i yelled out "woo hoo" while i was tinkling so i could make the other people standing in line jealous.
we get to the lodge, unpack. then we set up some games, eat tacos an watch "transformers: the movie."
anna was trying to watch some chick flick about a wedding on her teeny weeny portable DVD player. i kept interrupting and adding my own dialogue. the player had the volume of a mouse with laryngitis. so they kept shushing me, which only made me get louder. i think i even used a megaphone.
which is all good. i read somewhere that girlie movie like that cause teen pregnancy.

on another side note, i totally won in the game, APPLES TO APPLES. there were some high scorers one the table, but the important numbers were= Spacey: 4 / Rachel: 0.

then dinner, Bible time and more free time. i put on my world famous footie jammies.
we play some video game hockey (i never really try to score, i just make sure i knock the goalie down alot so the other players can score. it's all about teamwork)
for some odd reason, we watch "KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK." and then there's story time with space. i read one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. by dr. suess.

bedtime fo everybody.

Day 2

wakey wakey.
french toast and sausage. mmm mmm good.
i decided i was going to wear a flight suit to ski in. i won't tell you where i got it, that would take too long. just know that i have one, and that's that.
we pack up all the peoples in the vehicles, which consist of a church bus, a 2 passenger cargo van, bill's trucky thing that he drives, 2 minivans and jacki's nissan (which i drove.)
i had two passengers. we were ready to rock.
the destination was about 3 hours north due to the fact that the closer ski lodge had no powdery stuff that the white man calls snow.
so cadillac, michigan here we come.
rock, rock on.
well, what didn't rock was the crummy weather. it was switching from freezing rain to big snowy flakes falling rapidly from the sky.
not the best driving conditions.
but, we paid to play, so off we go. we were moving along quite well and then "IT" happened.

THE CRASH

now keep in mind, nothing was distracting me. the ipod was on a playlist, so there was no need to mess with it. the song that was playing happened to be "We're through being cool" by Devo in case you cared.
i wasn't even eating food or messing with a bottle o pop. "IT" just happened.

one second i'm driving straight with no problems.
one second later the car starts to spin.
my mind and body go into automatic. i've dealt with a car sliding on ice before. until this time i've been able to correct it and move on.
i guess i was never moving this fast before.
we were driving fast, but slow for the posted speed limit.
so, as i'm told, the car pulled two 360 degree turns.
all the while i was calmly trying to fix the situation. it seemed to happen in slow motion.
i really was hoping that i could avoid hitting anything and we can laugh and call it a close call. i was so close...
but, there was a wall.
and don't get me wrong. i was thankful for the wall. it separated me from oncoming traffic. and yes, luckily. the traffic behind was a long enough distance away that i was not hit from behind. (thanks cathy)

so yes, we managed to turn around completely, twice, and manage only to hit another object that wasn't moving or trying to hit back.

post movement and impact i then punched the steering wheel while using all the cuss words i know in one long gapless string. i even made up some words that are still not appropriate for our younger viewers.

meanwhile, sue is running down the road from the minivan that was trailing us, praying to GOD she didn't have to use any of her first aid training.

truth is, we all walked away without a scratch.
what really went through my mind at the time i heard the crunch of the car was that this was my friend's car.
1) that it wasn't fair that this should happen to them
2) nobody needs the stress of a wrecked car when you are about to start a family
3) the repercussions of this meeting between ice, road, and tire take a while to go away
4) i bet Dinglenoose is behind this

i felt sick to my stomach. i knew i did my best to avoid it, but the car was still broken.
i wasn't seeing the same picture as everybody else around me though.
they were all glad and relieved that we were not hurt in any way. and in retrospect, that was amazing. i went over it a million times since then, and the way that everything fell into place after the car lost it's grip on the road worked out the only positive way that it could have. i hope that makes sense.


THE AFTERMATH

so now we are outta the car, and accessing the damage. the back bumper had a scrape. we figured that was the first part of the impact.
the front driver part of the fender is what too the brunt of the damage, it was torn off from light to tire. we were hoping that it was drivable.
but not so much. the driver's side tire wobbled. so the best we could do is drive it to the next ramp and park it in the home depot parking lot.

the cop followed us to the parking lot and got all the info from me and whoever else was involved. he accessed the site before he talked to us, and he seemed genuinely impressed at how we escaped with the minimal damage considering the nature of the accident. oh, and did i mention i was still wearing a flight suit?



i really wanted to talk to jacki and apologize. i was agonizing over it. so when she got off the phone i walked over to her.
and she did an amazing thing.
she told me in a shaky voice, "don't you dare say you're sorry." when that's all i wanted to tell her. she told me she was just glad that i was okay. and gave me a very big hug that i can't even begin to appreciate. it meant a lot to me.
josh told me that cars can be replaced, but people can't. and gave me a manly hug too. i thank God for them.

it did take me awhile to shake off the anger at the situation. i didn't see it as the others on the trip saw it. that could have gone a lot worse. i love having good people around me that remind me to count my blessings. i would like to thank you all for the support you gave me after wheels stopped turning.

moving on


so, since we only needed to figure out how to make 3 people fit into the remaining vehicles, we pressed on. we made it to the ski lodge without further incident.

we just had to stress the fact that we did not need any further injuries or mishaps for the remainder of the trip. so be careful skiing and/or snowboarding.
as for me, i jumped on the slope as soon as possible. sometimes, i feel most at peace when i'm skiing by myself. it was a good therapy to have. considering skiing is the only sport i'm good at. heck, it's the only hobby i enjoy showing off.

so, we lost some time due to my highway antics.
that meant we stayed at the ski resort longer.
it was the first time i think i skied in the dark. don't think i like it very much.

stopped at pizza hut, ate lots of greasy food and dew. which i would regret.

ride home, it was long. the weather was terrible. and everyone involved was tired.
oh, and michelle was sick. silly, laughy, michelle. about to throw up. i didn't think she was gonna make it. well, she didn't. but at least we were stopped, and she spewed outside in the cold cold snow.

we get back, some shower. some, don't. i did.
we were planning on watching a stupid movie, hosted by heather m. but it was late, and almost everybody went to sleep as soon as possible. so, we did have time for story time with Spacey. i read two classics: "green eggs and ham" by the suessman and "goodnight moon."
i popped in hardware wars and then it was time for the remaining ladies to leave and go ta bed. some guys stayed up and we watched thumb wars and fell asleep watching galaxy quest.

Day 3

i wake up in a bad way.
i feel like someone has filled my stomach with cement.
i figured it must be the pizza wantin to get out, so i limp to the bathroom. take care o business, lie back down.
stomach, still, hurts.
bathroom trip number two.
still tummy problems. now churning and rumbling.
thought i was gonna throw up.
i thought right.
bathroom visit number three.
some flushing, rinsing and mouthwashing later, i'm done.
or so i thought. half hour later.
bathroom reunion number four.
after that i felt good enough to go down and pack up my stuff.
came back, lied down on floor. didn't ever want to move. again.
after some time, lunch was served. nothing on the menu sounded like a good idea. sloppy joes being the main course. one of the ladies was nice enough to make me a peanut butter sammich after i asked her for only the hamburger bun.
after a wee lil nap, it was time to go.
we were packed up to go home. but first we had to stop and go bowling, as most poeple do on ski trips.
i was feeling better, but still woozy.
i kept asking michelle how she was doing considering that her virus skipped past her boyfriend and landed on me.
i still blame Dinglenoose.



the very sad awful thing is that we were at a bowling alley that served really good fried food. and i had money.but i didn't dare eat anything that might make an appearance again. so i just had two plain pretzels and some tropicana fruit juice.
(my wife told me that i wasn't really sick anymore if i was sad and wanted to eat the food that was offered, i would have not even been able to look at it. she was right, and i'm glad i wasn't that sick) and heather had fried pickles, they looked sooo good. i hate being sicky.

the ride home was kind of a blur. luckily, michelle's laptop played dvd's and we watched pirates of the caribbean 2. johnny depp is dreamy.

it may have been a long, stressful and ca-razy weekend, but i would do it all again as long as the kids had fun.

i'm afraid i have no pictures to accompany this. if you took any good ones, please make sure i can get them on this site. because Buckwheat would want it that way.

i wonder if there's a Hallmark card for, "I'm sorry I accidentally crashed your car."

i drove by a sign that read:

CELEBRATE CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL WEEK

um, yeah.
think what you will about that.

i'm gonna go back to watching happy tree friends.

technically, i'm not allowed to set foot inside a Jewel/Osco.

funny story, i'll tell you sometime.

i ate waaaaaay too many peanut butter filled hershey's kisses today.

ladies and gentlemen.

"we got him."

32 years of Space!

i decided i'm gonna change my birthday to July 4th.

no more o this January 4th bidness!

here's why:
1) it's fun and sunny and doesn't run into any other gift giving holidays.

2) it's an automatic day off.

3) fireworks go off every time i turn another year towards dying.

3.2) actually, i don't like fireworks. but i hear chicks dig em. and it ain't a party without chicks and things being set on fire.

4) even if there are any other holidays or graduations close on the calendar i won't have to compete birthdays with the Son of God.



i like candy.

i think people would drive a lot faster if they listened to the same music i did.