Lightsabers and Lollipops

I KNEW IT!!!

I'M SPECIAL!

AND I'M THE ONLY ME THERE IS!

man!!! the things i would buy if i didn't owe everybody on planet Earth money.
this is one of them.

so

much

Superman.

i wonder how many potatoes died to make the seemingly endless bag of french fries i ate from that gyro place i stopped at today.
i was startin to believe i wouldn't be able to finish it.
and i can eat!
and that double cheeseburger was so good.
i wish i was eating it right now.

all for $2.72 American.
sweet deal.

this is the note i left my wife today.
she totally understood what the note meant and exactly where i was and who i was with.

i love my wife.

well, for those of you who do and do not know and or do not care, i have decided to take some time off from being a high skool youth sponsor.

here are some answers i've prepared for as to why:

1) i'm on sabbatical. (my favorite excuse)

2) they've forgotten it's all about the grammar

3) i was thinking about spending a year being evil. i could be doing things like: peeing all over toilet seats(or at the very least leaving the seats up), cutting the labels off mattresses, stealing bank pens and super gluing things to other things. y'know, things a supposed role model shouldn't do.
evil.

4) techno music was forbidden. and i need my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss.

5) i ran out of high skool aged griesemers. and life's so much more fun with a griesemer around. there, i said it.

6) FOOTBALL!!!

7) i need to catch up on "desperate housewives" ...i'm so behind.
or even watch simpsons, family guy and to a much lesser extent american dad.

8) i forget what 8 was for

9) my voice needs to recuperate from over 10 years of yelling at about things.

10) LOOK ELVIS! (and then i run fast and far in the other direction)

11) i figured i'd better get outta there before they discovered it was me who made that mess in the bathroom...



the fact of the matter is i'm not burnt out on it. i can't imagine not being a high skool sponsor.
but i'm just on hiatus so i won't get burnt out. my wifey says i'm really close to that point. and she''s all kinds of smart and knows me better than most of you. so nyeh.

just to let ya know, i probably will go to on some trips. i was told I GOTTA go on the ski trip. and i see the logic in that. so on that note.

rock over London.

rock on Chicago.

Wheaties! Breakfast of Champions!

and sometimes people ask me,
"for a married guy with kids who has been a church youth sponsor for years, how do you take so many pictures with hot chicks?"


The Answer: Volume.

...and then john threw a bike at me.

back in the day musicians used to actually avoid using proper pronouns in their songs to hide the fact that they were gay.
like constantly referring to the subject of the song as "you" instead of "girl" or "boy" etc.
these days it seems like straight artists have to use no gender in thier songs so they make sure they don't exclude an audience.
it's a sick world we live in.


here's a challenge.

while listening to music, try your best to keep the songs gender free.

some good examples would be "girl. you'll be a woman soon" by urge overkill
"are you gonna be my girl" by jet
and for the heck of it, "Girls" by the beastie boys.

ladies, you are on your own for songs specifically about guys.
i don't listen to that crap.

and i still hate Brainy Smurf.

worst tasting pop ever.

sigh.

the vintage Star Wars trilogy comes out tomorrow.
unaltered.
Han shoots first.
etc.

and i have noooooooo money to give to George Lucas.

still want it though.


(deep breath) sigh.



make it happen.

so.
comic con.
walkin around.
pickin up as much free stuff as possible.
we walk by a lady who is handing out free comics.
cool.
the she says we should get them signed.
okay.
the girl who is signing them is posing for a pic with some kids.
so we ask if we can also take a pic before she sits back down to sign.
here's the pic.



she's nice, a real good sport. i should have taken another pic with her cuz i wasn't smiling but i panicked.

then i decide to look up her website when i get home.

interesting story.
this is Kari Ann Peniche.
she was once miss teen USA 2003.
but...
she lost the title for posing for Playboy.
bwa hahahahahahahahahaha!

so once again, i've taken a pic with a chick who's been in that notorious naughty magazine.
there was the really good pic with Carmen Electra.
the close but yet so far pic that never happened with Shannon Elizabeth.
wunh wunh wunh.
and now Kari Ann Peniche.
i may have taken more, but i don't read Playboy that much.
(and then you say, well who does read it? and i say you're not funny)

oh, and there were also comic books at comic con.



this one was a piece of crap by the way.
there's no way it can be worth $5.00.
not even in canada.

VS.


who will win?


the poeple who owned the house before us left behind all sorts of junk.
i guess it's hard to really eradicate 28 years of living in a house in such a short time.
they didn't leave the actual lemonader behind, just the manual.
but the other stuff that they left we will be throwing away and giving away as white elephant presents for years to come.


i have mesquito bites on both my ankles.
grrrr.

nobody ever invited eeyore to the party.
in fact i think they gave him the wrong address.
but he showed up anyway.
and so is life.
say lavee.

i would give you more entries but my computer is no longer good at multi-tasking.
heck, it's no longer good with just tasking.
it overheats if it's like over 30 degrees in here.
or if i even think about holding the arrow over the itunes icon.

but enough excuses. lemme tell you about this dream i had:

the dream started off with the fact that i got suckered into going to some high skool reunion mock dance thing.
it kinda had rules, or guidelines.
for instance, i had to go with the girl that i went to turnabout with.
didn't matter if we were married or not. had to go with them. so there.

lemme take this chance to give you a lil history about when i actually did go to turnabout at my skool.

i was plan B.
that's how i ended up getting asked.
the girl who asked me, leslie, was going to attend with this guy who was lucky enough to be dating the french foreign exchange student. it turned out that the frenchie could come to the dance and so he let leslie find her own escort.
keep in mind, she found out a week before the dance. so she had the dress and flowers and such all taken care of.
so did i mind being plan B?
nope. it was kinda fun actually. all i had to do was dress up and pay for half of the pictures.
in fact, i have nothing bad to say about the whole deal. there was no love interest. it wasn't going too much further after the dance. the evening ended with a hug.



the craziest thing about the night was that we actually slow danced to the song "unforgiven" by metallica.

there's some background.
now here's more dreamy story.

so why i wanted to go to this reunion dance i will never know. in real life i avoided my 10 year high skool reunion cuz i didn't wanna go and pretend to catch up with people about why i was a pool boy who lost his flowing red hair. i like taco bell and movies.
at this mock dance hardly anybody was actually dancing. they kept complaining that the DJ sucked. me being a DJ for weddings and parties for over 10 years, i've heard this many times from the worst people. but in this case, they were right. he was playing old obscure rock that most people could not dance to. i could probably compare the selection to the chicago radio station-"the drive".
they were going up to the DJ and saying things like, "stop playing rock" and "play stuff we can dance to".
well, again my experience should have helped cuz i told them if they wanted the DJ to play what they wanted to hear thye had to request specific songs. his excuse in his head is that what he's playing, he can dance to. the dance they were imitating took place in 92 in white suburbia so they wanted him to play B-52's, DiVinyls and Jane's Addiction. but when i told the ladies who were complaining about the DJ that they just gave me that deer in the headlights look. and just kept on complaining. sigh. i can't win in my dreams either.

john really hates the B-52's by the way.

here's something funny. in my dream at this dance, there were alot of black people. how is that funny? i went to skool in northwestern indiana and there was only one black kid in my class! his nickname was pokey.
but in my subconscious, african americans were well represented.
i guess my mind compensated for the times.
it's a strange place to live inside my head...

anyway, then the dream started taking twists and turns as they usually do. i know i even woke up and went back to it at least once.
somehow i ended up with a back pack full of He-Man toys. and yeah, i got weird looks for that, but it was probably my mind making up for me being out of my element.
and then it gets hazy from there.

now here's what i think the dream represents:
i was planning on taking some time off from being a high skool sponsor this year aaaaand also no longer DJing for weddings, parties and skool dances.
so this is my minds way of dealing with it, i think.
or it could be because i ate ice cream before bed.

i don't feel like getting into why i'm taking a break from both. now i just need to find a new hobby.
i was thinking about becoming a professional dancer or comedian.
or both!
but i'll probably just catch up on family guy and simpsons...

tangent story!!!!!

about 7 years ago john, short steve, tom, myself and others had a pretty good chicago night. we went to dave and busters, espn zone, fao schwartz and even virgin records.
great night, lots of pictures taken. fun had by all.
at virgin records, the girl who rang me up was leslie. it was a pleasant surprise. she asked how i was doin. i told her we were out spendin bonus money and showed off the ring on my finger cuz i had recently gotten married.
here's what i regret about the meeting - i didn't ask her a single thing about her. i'm a very selfish conversationalist. that, and i prob just wasn't thinking straight. of course, that also takes out the secret agent factor. (read the archives people)
but i have a tendency to do that. to not ask people about their lives. it's something i'm working on. but i was pretty rude. i didn't look to see if there was a ring on her finger as i showed off my gold band. stuff like that.
i know her best friend in high skool was a lesbian. she wasn't totally blatant about it at the time, but we all knew. so it even made me wonder if she went that direction in life. but that's another tangent altogether.

anyway, say no to drugs kids.

this upcoming Christmas is gonna be sucky.
i just know it.
i have my reasons.
so there.