Lightsabers and Lollipops

i really should stop talking out loud to myself in public.
if someone would have been standing outside that speedway bathroom they would have heard me say, "oh, that's right. i ate tomatoes."

um, ...i gotta go.

i came so close to seeing "Purple Reign" a Prince cover band that plays in Vegas.

but alas, they were playing sunday night at 9 and we were leaving in the afternoon.

sigh.

that would have rocked.

and yes, ashlee simpson was gonna be there too. but i have nothing funny to say about her that hasn't already been said. so who cares? she can go to purgatory for all i care.

oh, and Static-X played there on June 13. that would have rocked so very hard.

good time had by all.
C R A S AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

if i ever have to replace one of my arms with a cyborg robotic version i hope that it's my left one.

cuz i'm right handed, and i pick up a lot of things with that hand.
robotic fingertips just don't have the texture to pick up a paper clip or that shiny new dime.
and that would just be frustrating.



cats are jerks.

do not, i repeat, DO NOT mention that whole Lancelot "thing."

they were just friends.

so there.

turtles.

well, Dan is the only guy i know who would have the Chicago Wolves mascot, Skates, at his wedding reception.



and honestly, when i walked in and saw him, i wasn't surprised.

i need to stop listening to things that just "call out to me."

the movie, 18 fingers of death, (and i quote) "was painful to watch."

and that chelupa was not very ultimate at all.

i hope you've learned something from this.

i blame satan.

RANCH.

free stuff is great.

this sign scared the crap outta me so i took it while walking away.

the questions that popped up in my head were:

do they do half the job? are they midgets? do they just drill out the cavity and not fill the tooth back up? are they just back alley, coat hanger dentists? are they dentists who never graduated dental skool? when was the last time i went to the dentist? if you go to these dentists, are you ever heard from again? why did George lucas insist on directing episodes 1-3? what if you are totally broke? what dentists will help you then? why do good things happen to bad people? is it like half.com? you don't know what you're getting, but you're getting a great deal? is there a dentist that i can go to that will give me fangs?

my thoughts got pretty creepy from there, so i will stop.

Vegas Rocks.

and as promised...



DANCING CANDY!!!!!!!

i really, really hope that was a woman inside that outfit.

i'd rather not say why.

lotsa cool things happen in Vegas. this one here already has all my friends at work jealous.

john and i were walking around the Hard Rock Casino when he gets a phone call and all i hear him say is, "Carmen Electra? "the Joint?"
hangs up the phone and says, "let's go."

i've learned enough not to question john and just go, cuz things are just fun that way. turns out that Carmen Electra was signing autographs and more importantly taking pictures with anybody who was willing to donate 10 dollars or more to some charity. (don't remember which one, don't care it's freakin Carmen Electra!)

the great thing was the line only about 10-15 people! i think we made up 5 of them.
john scared her by moving too fast. i;m glad she didn't get security involved, that would have messed up my turn. luckily, she calmed down from her fright to be nice to me and take this great pic with me. jealous?



she was even super nice and re-autographed the postcard thingie for me. smiles all around.



then everything could have gone better for Spacey from that moment on...

while we were waiting in line, there was some game going on behind us. then we heard the name, Shannon Elizabeth. and we thought, no! that can't be her! sure enough, the star from the American Pie films and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was in the very same room with us, losing big time at poker. she was in 6th place.... out of 6.

tall Steve and i tried to take as good as pictures of her as we could from behind the velvet rope. (that stinkin velvet rope, sometimes i hate it sooo much)



but this is the best i got. those stinkin professional photographers just got in the way (shakes fist).

so john (like i said, always listen to john about these things) suggests that since the room is not crowded at all, we have a chance to see if she will be willing to take a pic with us when it's over. so we stay.
i felt like a stalker, but i'm pretty sure that's what we were doing on some level.
they end the round and the players disperse. john was one the other side of the walkway and caught her right away and snapped this pic:




then she started taking off and i thought i wouldn't catch her, but some other guy asked her to sign something and she stopped for that. so i followed her out that door and tapped her on the arm (heart pounding in my chest, camera still in my pocket)

i asked her politely if she would take a picture with me. she was very nice and said, "sure, but i really have to go so make it quick." and here's my picture with Hollywood star, Shannon Elizabeth:
















don't see one?
that's because there isn't one!!!!!!!!!

and here's why.

i take the camera out and flip it on.
hold it in front of us.
hold down the button.
nothing.
hold it down again.
nothing.
hold it down a third time.
NOTHING!

she says to me, "i'm sorry but i really have to go."
i say i understand and she runs off trying not be noticed by any more would be stalkers like me.

just in time, my friends, (especially john) come around to see her sprinting away from me. and since then everyone kept making fun of me by making the disappointing sound of a trumpet going, "wunh. wunh. WAHHHHH"

they would ask, hey! where's your picture of Shannon Elizabeth? oh right! wunh. wunh. WAHHHHHH!

somedays i don't know how i don't fall into a manhole and die.

stay tuned kids. we have dancing candy coming soon.

you can't escape...



THE FORCE!

even in Vegas, there's a slot machine that screams out to Spacey.

but since you veteran reader's of www.spacemanrocks.com already know that i just don't win, you know that i would not gamble away a single penny when there were so many other awesome things to do.

in fact the only time i was bored in that wonderful desert town was when i was hanging out with others who were trying to beat their odds at the gaming tables. sooo boring and frustrating to watch.

i was astounded that there was even a table that you could play WAR on.
that's right. you put your money down. the dealer flips 2 cards. highest one wins.
that's insane.
if i was a card dealer i would fight to run that table. easy stuff.

anyway, lots more to come. including why my new theme song is WUNH. WUNH. WAHHHHHH!

well, i'm back from Vegas.

i had one of the best times of my life and i would definitely go back again.

Elvis was right.

all the movies about this town are wrong.

and even if you NEVER put a single dollar, quarter, nickel or even a penny on a gaming table or in a slot machine, you will still never know where your money went.



i will write a whooooole lot more about this, but this is all i can manage to do right now. cuz ah'm tayered!!!


WUNH, WUNH, WAAAAHHHH.

well, i'm off to VEGAS tomorrow.

i just hope there's no SNAKES ON THE PLANE!

there, aaaand BACK.



couldn't really think of a good pic to put for what needed to be written, so here, drink PEPSI.